You Know What Time It Is 

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

Assaults on Your Dignity

Refusing to listen to a hot new band named "Morningwood" on general fucking principle. Have some respect for yourself.

Animal Kingdom

This whole "hamster befriending the snake that was supposed to eat him" business. Strikingly similar to the relationship between Radio 4 and Gang of Four.

Job Perks

Receiving a totally sincere PR spam e-mail with the subject line: "Trent Reznor's Favorite Scents." Single-handedly justifies four years of journalism school.

This Song Will Change Your Life

Built to Spill's concise, restrained new tune "Goin' Against Your Mind." These sonically if not literally bearded dudes should be forbidden from recording songs less than ten minutes long -- we'll let this druggy, surprisingly badass jam sneak past at 8:42. MySpace.com/builttospill.

TV Party

Holy mother of god, the Flavor Flav reality show. Called Flavor of Love, on VH1. Like The Bachelor, only Flav hands out clocks instead of roses and says, "You know what time it is." The English language cannot do this justice.

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