Turkey for You and a Turkey for (thwack) Ooof! 

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

This Song Will Change Your Life

I dare you to play that Adam Sandler Thanksgiving song again, motherfucker.


TV Event

Imagine Dolly Parton and Elton John were both crushed by a falling jet engine while butchering "Imagine" during the CMA Awards.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Radio Betrayal

KOIT's annual switch to an "All Christmas Music All the Goddamn Time" format.

Like finding out your brother joined the Taliban.

Abstract Cultural Phenomenon

Trench warfare as a metaphor for awkward teenage sexual experimentation in pop-punk videos.

Green Day and My Chemical Romance blazing trails as usual.

Internet Dalliance

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain."

Behold the mythic splendor of the Chuck Norris Random Fact Generator (4q.cc/chuck).

Cinematic Achievement

The galling lack of ostrich attacks and mobile-home-originated forest fires in the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line.

Don't tell me you didn't have the budget.

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