‘The Nun’ Is the Worst Fright Flick of the Season 

There are some positives, but not many.

click to enlarge Taissa Farmiga searches out evil.
  • Taissa Farmiga searches out evil.
The new horror movie The Nun is so awful we decided to adopt it, to keep it from harm and help it on its way through a dangerous and uncaring world.

First, let’s talk about the good things. The production values are first-class. All the camera shots are in focus. The lighting, such as it is in a story that requires dimness for shock value, is highly professional. The settings are also double-plus good — notably the location work at Corvin Castle in Hunedoara, Romania, standing in for the haunted abbey with its creepy religious ghosts. Castel Film Studios of Bucharest really rolled out the ominous local color.

Nothing particularly wrong with the principal cast, either, with special nods to actors Demián Bichir as Father Burke, the exorcist sent by the Vatican to investigate the demon-infested abbey, and Taissa Farmiga as Sister Irene, the priest’s innocent, tender, young novitiate assistant. The character of local handyman Frenchy (Belgian actor Jonas Bloquet) is better left unexamined, especially since his chief contribution is to leer lustily at Sister Irene while practicing his double-entendre pickup lines. Aside from Frenchy, the actors match up well with the material — directed by Englishman Corin Hardy from a story by Gary Dauberman and James Wan, as the next spin-off from previous horror flicks Annabelle: Creation and The Conjuring 2.

That’s about it for the positive aspects. Part of our effort to rehabilitate the film, to help set it on the path to recovery, is to point out a few of its mistakes. The writing is a horror story in its own right. No cliché is overlooked — not the over-the-shoulder creep-up, not the nanosecond scary fly-by. Nothing. Incongruously, everyone in Romania speaks English, except when they’re speaking French, Spanish, or Latin.

The Nun boasts the best unintentionally funny dialogue exchange of the year. As they scramble around the underground crypt looking for something to ward off the evil spirit, Father Burke and Frenchy discover a richly decorated cruet in the reliquary.

                                               FATHER BURKE  (brandishing the cruet)

                                               The blood of Christ!

                                               FRENCHY

                                               Holy shit!

Let’s see another spook-a-thon top that. The Nun is about as terrifying as a Cub Scout weenie roast. You’ve been warned. The next time you find yourself in a deserted-looking convent in the Carpathians, don’t go down in the basement.

Tags:

The Nun
Rated R · 96 minutes · 2018
Official Site: www.thenunmovie.com
Director: Corin Hardy
Producer: James Wan, Peter Safran, Richard Brener, Walter Hamada, Dave Neustadter, Gary Dauberman, Michael Clear and Todd Williams
Cast: Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, Bonnie Aarons, Ingrid Bisu, Charlotte Hope, Sandra Teles, Maria Obretin, August Maturo, Jack Falk, Lynnette Gaza, Ani Sava, Michael Smiley, Gabrielle Downey, David Horovitch and Tudor Munteanu

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31200 Alvarado Niles Rd., (at Dyer St.)
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1:15 PM Alameda Theatre & Cineplex
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1:30 PM UA Berkeley 7
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1:30 PM AMC Loews Metreon 16 with IMAX
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1:30 PM AMC Van Ness 14
1000 Van Ness Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
1:35 PM Regal Hacienda Crossing Stadium 20 & IMAX
5000 Dublin Blvd.
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1:40 PM Century 14 Downtown Walnut Creek
1201 Locust St., (between Olympic Blvd. and Mt. Diablo Blvd.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
1:55 PM AMC Bay Street 16
5614 Shellmound St., Ste. 220, (in the Bay Street Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
2:15 PM Century at Hayward
1069 B St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
2:15 PM AMC Loews Metreon 16 with IMAX
101 Fourth St., (101 Fourth St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
2:30 PM Regal Jack London Stadium 9
100 Washington St., (at Embarcadero West)
The Nun Buy tickets...
2:30 PM Century 16 Hilltop
3200 Klose Way, (at Hilltop Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
2:40 PM AMC Bay Street 16
5614 Shellmound St., Ste. 220, (in the Bay Street Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
2:45 PM Century 14 Downtown Walnut Creek
1201 Locust St., (between Olympic Blvd. and Mt. Diablo Blvd.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
2:55 PM Century 16 Bayfair
15555 East 14th Street, (at Bayfair Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
3:00 PM Century 25 Union City
31200 Alvarado Niles Rd., (at Dyer St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
3:30 PM Alameda Theatre & Cineplex
2317 Central Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
3:40 PM Century at Hayward
1069 B St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:10 PM Regal Hacienda Crossing Stadium 20 & IMAX
5000 Dublin Blvd.
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:10 PM UA Berkeley 7
2274 Shattuck Ave., (between Bancroft Way and Kittredge St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:15 PM Century 16 Bayfair
15555 East 14th Street, (at Bayfair Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:15 PM AMC Loews Metreon 16 with IMAX
101 Fourth St., (101 Fourth St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:20 PM Century 14 Downtown Walnut Creek
1201 Locust St., (between Olympic Blvd. and Mt. Diablo Blvd.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:30 PM AMC Bay Street 16
5614 Shellmound St., Ste. 220, (in the Bay Street Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:30 PM AMC Van Ness 14
1000 Van Ness Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:50 PM Regal Jack London Stadium 9
100 Washington St., (at Embarcadero West)
The Nun Buy tickets...
4:50 PM AMC Loews Metreon 16 with IMAX
101 Fourth St., (101 Fourth St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:00 PM AMC Van Ness 14
1000 Van Ness Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:00 PM AMC Bay Street 16
5614 Shellmound St., Ste. 220, (in the Bay Street Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:00 PM Century 16 Hilltop
3200 Klose Way, (at Hilltop Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:05 PM Century at Hayward
1069 B St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:25 PM Rheem All-Stadium 4
350 Park St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:30 PM Alameda Theatre & Cineplex
2317 Central Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:40 PM Century 16 Bayfair
15555 East 14th Street, (at Bayfair Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
5:45 PM Alameda Theatre & Cineplex
2317 Central Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
6:30 PM Century at Hayward
1069 B St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
6:45 PM Regal Hacienda Crossing Stadium 20 & IMAX
5000 Dublin Blvd.
The Nun Buy tickets...
6:45 PM UA Berkeley 7
2274 Shattuck Ave., (between Bancroft Way and Kittredge St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:00 PM Century 14 Downtown Walnut Creek
1201 Locust St., (between Olympic Blvd. and Mt. Diablo Blvd.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:05 PM Century 16 Bayfair
15555 East 14th Street, (at Bayfair Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:15 PM AMC Loews Metreon 16 with IMAX
101 Fourth St., (101 Fourth St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:25 PM AMC Bay Street 16
5614 Shellmound St., Ste. 220, (in the Bay Street Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:30 PM Century 16 Hilltop
3200 Klose Way, (at Hilltop Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:30 PM Regal Jack London Stadium 9
100 Washington St., (at Embarcadero West)
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:30 PM Rheem All-Stadium 4
350 Park St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
7:40 PM Century at Hayward
1069 B St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
8:00 PM Alameda Theatre & Cineplex
2317 Central Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
8:00 PM AMC Van Ness 14
1000 Van Ness Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
8:20 PM Century 16 Bayfair
15555 East 14th Street, (at Bayfair Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
9:20 PM Century at Hayward
1069 B St.
The Nun Buy tickets...
9:20 PM Regal Hacienda Crossing Stadium 20 & IMAX
5000 Dublin Blvd.
The Nun Buy tickets...
9:40 PM Century 16 Bayfair
15555 East 14th Street, (at Bayfair Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
9:40 PM AMC Loews Metreon 16 with IMAX
101 Fourth St., (101 Fourth St.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
9:45 PM Century 14 Downtown Walnut Creek
1201 Locust St., (between Olympic Blvd. and Mt. Diablo Blvd.)
The Nun Buy tickets...
9:55 PM AMC Bay Street 16
5614 Shellmound St., Ste. 220, (in the Bay Street Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
10:00 PM Century 16 Hilltop
3200 Klose Way, (at Hilltop Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
10:15 PM Alameda Theatre & Cineplex
2317 Central Ave.
The Nun Buy tickets...
10:20 PM AMC Bay Street 16
5614 Shellmound St., Ste. 220, (in the Bay Street Mall)
The Nun Buy tickets...
10:20 PM Regal Jack London Stadium 9
100 Washington St., (at Embarcadero West)
The Nun Buy tickets...
10:25 PM Century at Hayward
1069 B St.
The Nun Buy tickets...

Film Details

  • The Nun

    • Rated R - Horror, Thriller

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