Today is a special day. It marks the first time we’ve seen a woman wearing nothing but an accordion. From here on out, our life will seem that much more grey. But at least we can say we’ve lived and lived well, knowing we&’ve seen a woman wearing nothing but an accordion. Not in the flesh, mind you, but on the cover of a CD sleeve. That counts in our book, because the album cover is the greatest dying art medium of the digital age. Anyway, despite the milestone it represents in our lives, we’re not quite sure if the cover to Lynn Marie (four-time Grammy nominee!) & the Boxhounds’ Party Dress is tacky or genius. To resolve this little quandary, we’ll leave it up to an Old Man and a Teenage Boy.
Old Man: Why, I remember the day when polka was tasteful. We would listen to a polka band every Friday night down at the bar on the corner and we’d dance into the night, but you always knew how to treat a lady. None of this running about town with floozies wearing nothing but an accordion. A cheap gimmick, if you ask me. Just cheap, that’s all it is. Why, that lady, than Lynn Marie, looks like she don’t know a thing about polka music. She should stick to the dancing, and leave the polka up to the men! How can you play an accordian with those little arms anyway? That’s what I’d like to know.
Teenage Boy: Dude, check this out, this chick’s naked. Well, there’s a squeezy thing covering her, but she’s totally naked behind it. I bet she’s not wearing a bra or panties or anything. She looks kinda hot. At least on top she does. It totally looks like she has big breasts. I wish that accordion thing would move so I could see. I wonder if you can see if you look from the side. Nah, it didn’t work. Oh dude, check out her knees. Kinda nasty. They’re all wrinkly. I’d still do her. What kind of music does she play? Doesn’t matter. She’s naked, dude. What’s she doing with her hands? That’s weird. This chick is weird, for sure. I wouldn’t be able to handle her, like as a girlfriend. If she’d move that thing in front of her, that’d be cool, because she looks like she could be pretty hot.
Guess we’ll have to move to round two of the deliberation: actually listening to the CD. That’ll have to happen another day. Today is all about naked ladies and buttonbox accordions.
P.S. Check out a bare-bones Sound by Its Cover archive here. Eighteen reviews and counting.
