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Rated R · 2006
Only one question will need to be answered: Does the movie deliver what it promises? The answer, in this case, is yes, holy Jesus, yes: There are snakes up in that motherfuckin' plane, yo -- fat snakes, skinny snakes, snakes with Groucho eyebrows and sporty little curled fangs. And with a passenger list of succulent nobodies serving as in-flight snacks, David R. Ellis' skybound shocker goes about its give-the-people-what-they-want mission with a crassness so single-minded it's positively gleeful. From a dozen straight-to-video thrillers, it swipes the old setup with the dogged FBI agent (Samuel L. Jackson, by this point practically a high concept in himself) transporting a witness in protective custody. When the silly CG snakes finally show up -- part of a showboating Asian American gangster's uniquely far-fetched assassination plot -- they all but wink at the camera as they gouge eyes, barge in on the Mile High Club and give zipper-clenching new meaning to the term "trouser snake." There's something almost refreshingly venal about a movie with no purpose other than to meet intentions this cheesy. But a viewer can feel he's gotten exactly what he paid to see from this dream in-flight movie and still leave wondering, "Is that all I wanted?"

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Snakes on a Plane

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