smashwolf 
Member since Apr 3, 2009


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Re: “Burners Torched Over Native Party

Trickstur:
I was adopted, too. I am lost, with absolutely NO heritage to call my own. I do not feel spiritually whole, but I tasted what it felt like once, so I know what I am missing. Even worse, the only heritage I can even remotely identify with is that of many native American peoples. But, American natives are far from ready to adopt lost souls like myself. I am too white, and too much of a symbol to them.

Being adopted into a culture I can really feel in my soul, would make me feel whole... I can't identify with the burner crowd because to me, it is not genuine to me. I can, however, go to a Powwow, sit on the sidelines, and watch, and know that I belong down there in the circle dancing, but I just do not feel like I fit. Many Native Americans often preach that there is only one race, the human race, and they can invite me to the circle to dance, but when I look in the mirror, I cannot tell myself that I feel okay that I see a white face. I still feel shame and guilt for being born what I am, and until both native American cultures, and the rest of society can get past this, things will not change. Unless someone of the culture I feel, tells me to my face that it is ok to be me, and makes me feel truly a part of something that feels right to me, I will likely go to the grave spiritually alone.

For the natives that are still angry, and hurt over the past, this is the retribution they may have prayed for as settlers decimated their culture, and their land. American culture is dead, there is no culture besides the almighty dollar, and I am paying the price for the ignorance of all who came before me. I am sure many native Americans feel vindicated when they see tortured souls like my own.

Perhaps that will be my only consolation in life is knowing that at least I could be a part of providing that vindication, even though I did nothing myself to deserve it besides... being born.

-Smash Greywolf of the Black Swamp

Posted by Smash Greywolf on 04/03/2009 at 4:24 PM

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