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Re: “Sleeping Around Craigslist

Dear Anna & Lily,

Thank you, I so appreciated your article and had much fun reading it. I too saved it for several months before reading online.

It was enlightening as well as thought-provoking, as indeed were these comments! Thanks to all who posted here.

As a sensitive person with childhood traumas himself, and with reluctance yet intrigue at the thought of posting on CL, it helped put things in perspective from a woman's viewpoint and offered some much appreciated pointers. So many thanks for that.

I’m rather taken aback though by the two biting comments here! (Critiquing without criticizing is so wanting in our world).

I too was miffed at some perceived slights toward men in your article. It would've bothered me more in the past, but I guess I have more tolerance after much reflecting on why that bothers me.

Yet since I too thought at points, "It can't be all the fault of the men...", then perhaps it's a valid critique to say it might've been better if the tone was at times less...strident, shall we say?

In addition, I may have enjoyed a more personal account (true let's say to the dictates of journalism school) but found your style highly enjoyable and the simple reporting of your journey fascinating in its own right.

Go on, write a book about your experiences from that perspective if you’d like, but kudos to you both for the writing you did.

I guess I'd like to say that communication is paramount out of, as well as in, bed. So much so that it is, in fact, (dare I say) the next leap in our evolutionary (un?)consciousness.

We often wonder why two people can’t get along in the world—let alone two nations—but we fail to look at the disrespectful way we address each other (and with little to no effort at really understanding where the other is coming from, no less!).

Therefore, if tempted to tear a person down (even out of seeming righteous indignation) instead of offering your perspective civilly, my recommendation is--BE[A]WARE.

How we speak to others is no different from our inner voice; it is with that same critical tone that we reproach ourselves.

And if we talk that way to perfect strangers, it is surely an indication how adults spoke to us as children—which models the sanctioned way of communicating.

We might then ask, “What traumas did this cause and continues to cause in my relationships to this day that I tend to blame on others?”

It may be a truism that when we point a finger at another there are three pointing back at ourselves. Yet it's important to note that it’s not just the critique with which we level those fingers, but the criticizing way in which they are aimed, that is meaningful to explore.

Well, enough of MY personal rant.

To you, "Anna" & "Lily", thanks again and blessings on your further human adventures in bed and out.



0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Skye on 05/13/2009 at 4:28 PM

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