Puck Schmucks 

Ice follies in San Jose

TUE 11/11

An all-male troupe of speed skaters, collectively known as the Colorado Avalanche, will arrive for a one-night performance in San Jose next Tuesday evening. For those who prefer their hockey with a glass of white wine and a smidge of brie, the visiting troupe presents Eloquence on Ice, with bad hair.As for the group of men who will attempt to frustrate the easy glide of the Avs, they are known as the Sharks, and they are a motley crew. Led by the toothless and mulleted Mike Ricci (right), the lumpy locals are a team currently on the fritz. Despite a few good years when they made a run in the playoffs, the Sharks are now a bunch of dupes, characters in a bad play.

In other words, the finest hockey you'll find in San Jose this season will need to be imported. And with the Avalanche scheduled to arrive next week, now is a good time to grab your lorgnette. Puck drops at 7:30 p.m. at 525 Santa Clara Street, San Jose. For tickets, call 408-999-5757. -- Justin Berton

SUN 11/9

Beat Feet to Eat

You can build up an appetite one of two ways before the Berkeley Hiking Club's Annual Lunch. Meet at Shattuck Ave. and Berkeley Way for a ride to the end of Powell St., and then choose a four-to-five-mile stroll or four-mile hike, both along the waterfront and reconvening at Watergate for lunch. Call hike leader Gilbert Melese at 510-601-0296 for details. -- Stefanie Kalem

MON 11/10

Holy B-Ball

Monday at 7 p.m., the basketball court of UC Berkeley's Haas Pavilion will play host to a somewhat more righteous game than usual. See if athleticism is next to godliness when the Bears men's b-ball team takes on Athletes in Action, an Ohio-based sport ministry that gathers former college players from around the country to play exhibition games. AIA.com -- Stefanie Kalem

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