This is a past event.

"Nothing Says I Love You Like Doom" 

When: Tue., Feb. 14, 8 p.m. 2012
Price: $10, $13

When YOB -- the Eugene, Oregon metal trio known for its gargantuan, brain-massaging riffs -- comes to town on the night that happens to be Valentine's Day, what is a promoter to do? Bill the show as "Nothing Says I Love You Like Doom," of course. I realize I am part of the 00.0000001 percent of women who would actually believe that statement; for the rest of you hoping to avoid a catastrophic evening with your significant other, and who're obligated to do something "romantic" (in the traditional sense of the word), your best bet is to start your night off with a very fancy meal at a very fancy restaurant (ideally in the Uptown area) accompanied by very fancy gifts, and then tell your date you'd like to "stop by" The New Parish (579 18th St., Oakland) for a "hot sec" to just "check out" a band that you hear is cool (you'll pay!). Then, with any luck, the face-melting riffs of Black Cobra will stun her into realizing what amazing taste you have, and YOB will seal the deal. At the end, hopefully, everyone will go home happy. 8 p.m., $10, $15. TheNewParish.com

— Kathleen Richards

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