Mix Your Milk with My Cocoa Puff, Milky, Milky Riiiiiiight. 

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

Worst Shit Ever

The horrific impending nuclear apocalypse, as portended by the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps."

This cannot possibly be real.


Instrumental Innovation

The dude in Thee More Shallows who plays the giant orange suitcase.

Rhythm guitar is so 1995.


Abstract Cultural Phenomenon

Posters to the Craigslist "Tickets Wanted" forum who appeal for lower prices because they're "true fans."

A slavish devotion to Paul McCartney rarely benefits you financially.


Bygone Concert Experience

The winsome minimalist approach of Broken Social Scene.

Five guitarists? Five?


This Song Will Change Your Life

Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek."

What a six-headed mutant beauty queen self-harmonizing in the shower will sound like in 2085.


Internet Dalliance

Irate mashup DJs who use their blogs to insinuate that I've fellated the UPS guy.

Perplexing.

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