Letters for May 6 

Readers sound off on our April Fool's issue.

"Man's Real Best Friend," Lowering the Bar, 4/1

You Deserve a Pet Rock

Recently, while scanning through your East Bay Express, an article caught my eye (avid animal lover of all wildlife too!) written by a Jay Youngdahl.

Mr. Youngdahl, I assume by your column that you are another one of those ruthless animal abusers ... "shame on you!!"

This problem you speak of animals having too much rights!! Mr. Youngdahl, getting back to your Biblical verses, I definitely disagree with your theory, the Lord (God) put every living species on this earth ... his creation Jay!! Not yours, or those that choose to travel there own destinations in life. So the chimp was treated with Xanax, is he depriving you Jay?

You should be given a Pet Rock on a leash to keep you company.

Sorry for you Jay!!

Alice Noriega, San Pablo

You're All Speciesists

These are just a bunch of radical speciesists concerned more about their own profits than the welfare of others. I totally support the care and welfare of animals. How many more animals will give their life for these humans to keep denouncing their value and right to exist? This is one of the prime reasons animals need to have laws that protect them from radical people like this.

John Lopez, Reno, Nevada

Yanquis Are Animals

A riddle circulated in Latin America in the 1960s and 1970s that went like this:

Q: The Yankees send armies around the planet to kill people, so how come they love their pets so much?

A: That's because they have a lot more in common with animals.

Antonio Trossero, San Leandro

Like the Gulag

This is a false dichotomy. Animal welfare is the issue. Of course they don't have the same rights to vote or drive a car or own guns that we do.

Those rights are irrelevant to their nature. But rabbits should not be blinded for the cosmetics industry and the recent prop on the horrendous conditions in which farm animals are raised was long overdue. And Maoists shouting for humans!!! The man killed a hundred million Chinese.

Of course, a small-time leftist intellectual crook like Jay Youngdahl could never figure that out.

Animals are friends to the cosmetics industry in the same way that slave laborers in the Gulag are friends to Stalin.

I willingly spend money on my cats; I do not prefer to spend money on street bums.

Al Blue, Richmond

"Inside the Activist Gym," Culture Vulture, 4/1

A Gym Worth Signing Up For

Your story on underground gym in W. Oakland, interesting — I got some gym equipment maybe they could use, and also a garden, maybe they would be interested in home-grown vegetables from the area? Plus, I'm a "chef-gardener." Been trying for years to work with new people in the area.

A.L. Brown, Oakland

"Almost Infamous," Music, 4/1

Suckers!

So even a credible journalistic endeavor such as the East Bay Express has now been hoodwinked by the scammers in "The New When."

Those jerks are simply running a con game. They owe me money, and they owe a bunch to others in the local music business community. Their name-change game is not a means of avoiding unwanted fame and dodging reviewers pigeonholing them (as they claim); that's just a ruse! Instead, that is simply their shrewd device to allow them to skip out on debts owed.

And debts not just for rehearsal space rental, studio time, freelance engineers, side men, CD pressings, photographs, bio writing, web site development, web hosting, truck rentals, and unpaid bar and restaurant bills all over the East Bay for their infamous post-performance CD-release parties (of which there have been many) — no, they also owe money for publishing royalties to their song co-writers ... me, to name one.

And now they've managed to get your newsweekly to feature them on the cover. My god, you'll run a cover story on just about any ridiculous figure in the local music scene who can spin a good tale and convince you they have some new perspective, won't you?!

Miles Hurwitz, manager, the Matches; vice president of marketing and artist development, Talking House Records, Oakland

"UC Berkeley Decides Public Education Not Good for Making Money," News, 4/1

If It Smells Like the Onion

Throughout my read of this article, I continually checked the masthead and url to confirm (double-confirm, triple-, etc) that I was not reading The Onion. Really? All of this is real? Thanks for the enlightenment about how far greed has progressed in our country.

[no name given, author couldn't be reached]

"From the Compost Bin to the Dinner Table," Food, 4/1

It Tastes Like the Onion, Too

Someone who sends me more than a few links to articles from The Onion sent me this link and I swear I thought I was reading a bogus review until I saw the Cafe Gratitude reference.

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