Irish Bashing Irish 

Irish-American bands the Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, Gaelic Storm, and more muse about Micks during this venerable week.

Blimey, Saint Patrick's Day is upon us again — that one time of year when making fun of our Irish friends is perfectly acceptable (such as using condescending words like "blimey"). We, thought it would be more interesting to let the Irish do it to themselves, particularly U2, but well, they didn't return our calls. The next best thing? A bunch of Irish-American bands.

The most accurate Irish-American stereotype?

"Yes, we like a bevvy now and then, but we only drink on the days of the week that end with a Y." — Steve Twigger, Gaelic Storm

"That Irish Americans can be more Irish than the Irish sometimes." — Bob Schmidt, Flogging Molly

"Many people seem to think that the Irish American is a freckly Irish-music-lovin' pint swallower. This is very often true in my experience." — Keith Roberts, the Young Dubliners

The least accurate Irish-American stereotype?

"We do not have small willies. It's the cold." — Steve Twigger

"Many believe they have red hair everywhere. This is not always true. I have no further comment." — Keith Roberts

Favorite Irish-American stereotype?

"The guy down at the L Street Tavern with his 'Southie Tuxedo'(full tracksuit) and Kangol scally cap. He's a friggin' riot!" — Matthew Kelly, Dropkick Murphys

Favorite beer to abuse on St. Patrick's Day?

"It would have to be Guinness, of course, but you have to be lucky. Not all pints are created equal and there are many dodgy establishments serving crap." — Keith Roberts

"Kirin Ichiban!" — Matthew Kelly

"'My dear man,' as Oscar [Wilde] might have said, 'One does not abuse what one loves. One merely indulges.'" — Larry Kirwan, Black 47

What do the Irish like to do more than drink, fistfight, and fight fires?

"Drink, fistfight, and chase women. Ask Colin Farrell." — Steve Twigger

Favorite St. Patrick's Day memory?

"Not sure. I usually black out about halfway through the day." — Matthew Kelly

"If you have any, then it must not have been that good. The day after Paddy's Day is usually spent calling friends and family to apologize for whatever you did last night and then asking them, 'What did I do?'" — Keith Roberts

"The MC at a graveyard gig on Christopher Street forgetting the name of my band, and instead yelling into the microphone, 'Irish cock tonight!'" — Larry Kirwan

Is James Joyce everything he's cracked up to be?

"Absolutely. 'The sacred pint alone could unbind the tongue of Dedalus' from The Dubliners. 'Nuff said." — Matthew Kelly

"And more, but he'll never be on American Idol, so who gives a damn!" — Larry Kirwan

"Try reading Ulysses and make up your own mind. Most never finish, but say how wonderful it is. He has created a lot of liars. Quite the achievement." — Keith Roberts

"Can't understand a word he wrote." — Steve Twigger

Bono: Name him a saint, or ban him from opening his mouth except while onstage?

"He was quite the plonker in the early days, but I think he has redeemed himself of late. I'll sign the sainthood petition when it comes around — and I buy RED now!" — Keith Roberts

"Rock 'n' roll and politics should be cousins, not brothers. Shut the fuck up (except when onstage)!" — Matthew Kelly

"Saint ... although I wish he would get caught with some hookers and blow once in a while, just so we know he's human." — Steve Twigger

Was being an altar boy while you were growing up as dangerous as it sounds nowadays?

"Well, put it this way: We thought that 'no' meant 'yes' up till high school. Ouch!" — Matthew Kelly

"Not for me, at least. But I was mostly on the wedding and funeral circuit." — Bob Schmidt

"Do I get a 'special' treat if I tell you?" — Steve Twigger


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