How to Talk Like a Sailor 

Say this: Billions of blue blistering barnacles!

4/13-4/17

There's an old line about how you can duplicate the experience of owning a sailboat: Stand in a cold shower, fully clothed, while tearing up hundred-dollar bills. Of course that would never apply to you or me, sea captain. No, we're smarter than all that. That's why we're heading down to Strictly Sail Pacific at Oakland's Jack London Square this week to size up some amazingly seaworthy craft. The five-day event, beginning today (Wednesday) and running through Sunday, is billed as the West Coast's largest sailboats-only show -- with more than a hundred boats on display, some three hundred exhibitors, ninety seminars conducted by expert salts, and an appearance by round-the-world racer Bruce Schwab and Olympic gold medalist Kevin Burnham. Admission is $12 weekdays, $15 weekends, swabbies. Go to StrictlySail.com or phone 1-800-817-SAIL (7245) for more enticements, and start saving for that sloop. – Kelly Vance

MON 4/18

Challenge

Call in sick Monday

So you think you're a great golfer? How about your buddy, also a killer? Does your handicap intimidate others? Time to step up and play the game at the ESPN National Golf Challenge . For a $110 entry fee -- which includes eighteen holes with the use of a cart, an "appetizer buffet," a dozen golf balls, and a year's subscription to Golf Magazine -- twosomes are invited to Oakland's Metropolitan Links on Monday (8 a.m. shotgun start) to compete for a trip to the Nationals in Vegas. Maximum handicap: 24, so be sure to get certified by the USGA first. Go to GolfFusion.com/playmetro to sign up. -- Kelly Vance

4/13-4/14

Exposed Extremities

Jon Muir's Alone Across Australia follows one man's unsupported solo trek from the south coast of Australia to the north coast, through the outest-back wilderness of the continent. Sinners, a tribute to skiing in deep powder by Bill Heath, marries exciting action footage to a high-powered soundtrack. In Teton Gravity Research's Soul Purpose, skiers and boarders go higher, steeper, and deeper in their quest for winter outdoor thrills. These are just three of the films and vids in the Banff Mountain Film Festival, a traveling package of extreme sports documentaries that makes 250 stops around the world, playing to adventure junkies. The fest screens Wednesday and Thursday at UC Berkeley's Wheeler Auditorium (7 p.m., $15 door). Visit REI.com/stores for details. -- Kelly Vance

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