Fat-Bottomed Girls at the Candy Shop 

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

DJ Kicks


Queen/50 Cent mashups at Members.home.nl/visionx/. A few alright tunes, a few amusing song titles ("Bohemian Wanksta"). That's about it. Except, of course, for that mustache.

Absurdist Memorabilia

The eBay auction of Jerry Garcia's toilets.

They're not exactly rare, though -- thousands of people already own Go to Heaven.

TV Event

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, suckas.

Amazing how all that dust got in your eye right when Burl Ives started singing "Silver and Gold."

This Song Will Change Your Life

Jenny Lewis and assorted indie big-shots cover the Traveling Wilburys' "Handle with Care."

Death Cab guru Ben Gibbard's complete transformation into the emo Roy Orbison happened way ahead of schedule.

Internet Distraction

The random Dan Bejar/Destroyer lyric generator

Patronize I-rock.wackiness.org/bejaromatic/ for such bizarre bons mots as Able, willing, ready/Fuck the spiral jetty. Then go find

the new Destroyer tune "European Oils," which slays dragons and kicks elves.

Sordid Rock Star Feud

Scott Stapp vs. 311

Much like Yankees-Red Sox games, we're actively rooting for the Flaming Meteor Crushes Everyone Involved outcome.

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