Exile in Guyville 

Mollena Williams lances male behavior with her rapier wit.

What's the difference between boys, guys, and men? And how do you know which one you've got on your hands? "These states are fluid: very few males dwell in any one state for all of their time," says Mollena Williams via e-mail. With her new one-woman show, Boys, Guys, Men: A Field Guide, which opened in a nascent, lab state last weekend, the Crowded Fire Theater cofounder attempts to run the penis-bearing gamut. It's the second of the SF experimental theater group's Matchbox Workshop Productions, and also the second to be performed at LaVal's Subterranean in Berkeley. "We really wish to expand our Sphere of Influence and power ... er, rather, 'Audience Demographic' to new people," she explains. "So many folks are bridge-averse, so if the mountain won't come to Mo, Mo goes to the mountain."

Boys, Guys ... grew out of a segment of the NYC native's 69Stories: One Pervert's Tale, which premiered in March 2001 at the Phoenix II Upstairs in San Francisco. "69Stories was highly autobiographical, mostly linear, and all Entirely My True Story," she says. "BGM is more anecdotal, has a great many 'borrowed stories' and Ranting and Raving." Williams is an expert ranter and raver -- one of her rants made it into Craigslist's "Best Of" section (search "Best-of-Craigslist" for "The Prize for the Lamest Booty Call"). So she decided to turn her attention to a serious pet peeve -- self-help literature.

"I have a swelling mental boil of vitriol towards this pseudoscience, and all I wanna do is lance it with my rapier wit," she says. "I mean, I read a book that actually said to avoid nerdy guys if you want good sex. Hello? Bueller! Who is more grateful, diligent, thoughtful, and raunchy than a geek? These guys didn't get any in high school, sometimes not even in college. So by the time they do, they've made a study of it. I was indignant. Plus, I am a nerd, so phbbbhhttttptpt!"

Boys, Guys, Men: A Field Guide plays Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. at LaVal's, 1834 Euclid Ave., Berkeley. Tickets are $10. Call 415-675-5995 or visit CrowdedFire.org


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