Counting Down Our Top 100 Sarcastic Blurbs of 2005 

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

Journalism epidemic

More than 30,000 readers nationwide have been hospitalized with Year-End Top-Ten List Fatigue, aka "Sufjanorrhea." Doctors prescribe a monthlong moratorium on all rock critics (this paper excepted, of course), as well as plenty of orange juice, bed rest, and spins of Elton John's Honky Chateau.

Internet Distraction

The "Top 50 Videos" rundown at DoCopenhagen.blogspot.com (scroll to the December 27 entry) is pretty damn sweet, though.

Jason Forrest's clip for "War Photographer" is so rad it's just not possible.

Transcendent Concert Experience

Chad VanGaalen covering Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark," January 4 at the Independent. Wherein Bruce Springsteen's Courteney Cox-wooing anthem of Reagan-era dudeliness was transformed into a desperate plea by a nine-foot-tall Canadian troubadour with a fantastically warbly voice. Righteous.

(Wolf Parade was okay too.)

Daffy Kate Bush Lyrics

3.14159265358979323846
264338327950288419716
9399375105820974
94459230781640620620882148865
132823066470938446795558223

Kate actually sings all this on "Pi," off her astonishing, riveting, borderline-psychotic new album, Aerial. It's every bit as swoon-inducing as Al Green singing "Let's Stay Together."

Uncharacteristic Boast

Transcribed that manually, by the way.
Coulda Googled it, but that woulda been cheating.

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