Conscious Rap Is for Nerds 

Hip-hop commentary for the mildly perturbed and severely profane.

I know it might be difficult to believe, but it's true: Listening to music does not equate to becoming a fucking genius. This goes against years of pretentious fuckheads using their favorite underground band to prove that they are above and beyond all the other kids at their high school. Why in the fuck are grown adults perpetuating this bullshit?

The whole concept of projecting a person's entire sense of intelligence on a fucking band is stupid as fuck. Yes, dumb people listen to a lot of generic music, but listening to shitty bands that exist only on the Internet doesn't make you smart. It makes you a fucking nerd. Your iPod library is not a place for mental development.

Intelligent dance music is a crock of motherfucking shit. IDM is boring-as-fuck background music for shopping at goddamn Urban Outfitters. It doesn't matter if it's a bunch of ridiculous cascading strings with crap-ass diva house bullshit, or some kind of spazzed-out pop-and-glitch noise fuckfest. That shit doesn't make you any smarter; it just makes you blink a lot and wear dumb shit from muscle shirts to glitter.

And for those pseudo-politically-aware types: You should be notified that listening to Ani DiFranco does not in fact make you a revolutionary activist. Much like your parents' experience decades ago, it's just a shitty phase you're going through where you feel so socially conscious, but don't worry. It won't last. Soon you, too, will hang up those artificial liberal college student ideals when you trade in your flip-flops for ties and keeping minorities out of your kids' schools.

Now, as much as I think your average IDM and Ani DiFranco fans are stupid, neither of the two bothers me as much as dumbasses who claim to listen to smart rap. Why? Because I fucking love rap, and these clueless fucks are coming in and shitting on the music that holds a special place in my heart. I don't give a fuck how indie you are. If you can't recognize the genius M.O.P., then you don't deserve to listen to hip-hop. Fuck your pussy-ass neo-soul fetish. Much like spoken word, so-called progressive/smart rap is just a bunch of fucking crap based around worthless efforts at being political without actually addressing a goddamn thing. Championing unity, turning off your TV, and drinking green tea does not make you a Che Guevara T-shirt. I'd rather listen to "Stomp the Shit Out Ya" than listen to a bunch of bitchmade Birkenstock-approved light rap.

Listen to music because you genuinely like it; not because it appeals to some bullshit ideas that were born out of the pathetic cliques in your stupid high school.

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