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Rated R · 2006
Michael Madsen sports a mullet, Ben Kingsley's done up like Mozart, Michelle Rodriguez pathetically attempts an English accent, Meat Loaf wears a powdered wig, blood gushes from slashed throats, and the Terminatrix shows her breasts. Honestly, what more do you want from a medieval vampire movie? The mere mention of notoriously awful director Uwe Boll (Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead) strikes fear into the hearts of many moviegoers, but he is gradually getting better, having apparently learned, at long last, the importance of good lighting and pointing the camera at the actors. The plot is by turns incoherent and nonsensical, something about a human-vampire hybrid named Rayne (Kristanna Loken), who can kick all kinds of ass but has somehow been captured by a fat circus ringmaster. Doesn't matter. The production values found in Romania are nice, and the actors are enjoyably goofy (apparently without realizing it). It'd be a stretch to call BloodRayne good, but at least it's fun-bad.

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