Bad Table 

Where waiters and diners tell tales.

Pita Pitstop

Not a fan of Middle Eastern food, I hesitated before accompanying my friend to a Middle Eastern deli. Still, the pita sandwiches looked harmless -- turkey, cucumber, cheese, tomatoes, shredded lettuce. "Is there mayonnaise?" I asked the server. Mayonnaise with artichokes is a match made in heaven, but any other coupling is grounds for divorce.

"No mayonnaise," he assured me.

I sat down with my pita sandwich and took a big, satisfying bite. Mayonnaise in abundance sprayed into my mouth. I headed back up to the counter. "I thought you said there was no mayonnaise," I complained.

"No extra mayonnaise," he amplified. He would not give me a substitute, even soup, so I carefully deconstructed the sandwich, wiping ounces of mayo off every surface. Greek salad, anyone?

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