Amanda Jay 
Member since Aug 10, 2018


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Re: “Disappeared in Death

I Knew him, pretty well. He sold my boyfriend of 8 years fentanyl laced heroin knowingly, it will be three years in December that hes been dead. Josh would have been dead via overdose eventually himself anyway. Im sorry for his family but he didnt have to live life that way. I found him after Nick died and demanded answers and he had no remorse. If you choose to stay in the tenderloin area where we all were at one time together, and suffer from addiction, that is where you will die. Im only alive because I refused to ruin my life anymore. I refused to be kidnapped, rapped, beaten, starving, stealing to supply my habit, overdosing, never feeling safe, be robbed daily, and destroy my entire mental state anymore. That is not real life, that is the SF polices fault for turning thier heads to the horrific situation going on in the tenderloin. That place is governed by the murderers, rapists, drug dealers, gang members, and homeless drug addicts not the police or the city. It is OUT OF CONTROL and something needs to be done NOW! However everyone is capable of change. Josh didnt deserve to be murdered but he basically supplied dangerous drugs to lots of people who are no longer with us. He also NEVER used to carry a gun. All hardcore iv drug users are mentally in some way shape or form. Im struggling still with the damage I caused my whole body, especially my brain. I just want people to hear another side. Again I am not supporting his murder in anyway. I feel sad this happened, but I will always have a horrible feeling inside me forever about the situation and disregard Josh had for the death of his friend Nick. They both were huge Grateful Dead fans and knew each other well. Maybe they will meet again on in the other side. My condolences-to this family.

Posted by Amanda Jay on 08/10/2018 at 3:22 AM

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