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Re: “Pending Eviction of Former Black Panther Aunti Frances Highlights Just-Cause 'Loophole'

Sounds like what the new property owner is doing is legal. Whether or not it is ethical depends on your perspective. But keep in mind that if she really did pay over $700k, she has high overhead and may not be able to afford to be a mini-welfare state for her renter. The cost of housing is very high. Oakland's property taxes took a jump this year thanks to Measure JJ and others - 5.!% in the case of my dad's house; and EBMUD just raised their rates almost 10% and will raise again next year. Compare that to the annual allowable rent raise which rose this year to a generous 2.3%. Housing is expensive and someone has to pay one way or another.

Posted by Ilona Clark on 12/15/2017 at 7:26 PM

Re: “Dan Savage The Sports Writer Comes Off the Bench for Dan Savage the Sex Columnist

Thank you Pa Oba for helping me to get my ex boyfriend back to me. Hey friends, you may visit http://obastarspell1.webs.com or email him on obastarspell@gmail.com and you may find a help to that your love and your ex problems

Posted by odia on 12/15/2017 at 5:19 PM

Re: “Oakland Counseling Guru Accused of Sexual Assault

As a psychologist and evaluator of sexually violent predators statewide, I want to start by pointing out that when multiple victims tell nearly identical stories related to crimes they suffered at the hands of one person, psychological probability is significantly increased. That said, Mr. Bearman will have his day in court if his attorney believes that the myriad of victims and witnesses that will testify will not be credible to a jury. Undoubtedly, he will have a parade of witnesses that will tell the jury what a great guy he is.

On the surface, and based strictly upon victim accounts to the newspaper, Mr. Bearman is a sexually violent predator, plain and simple. He is the type of person that would likely be confined to a state hospital after he serves his prison sentence. Crucially, this does not mean that he is only a predator. Hundreds of the men that I evaluate in the state hospital have many redeeming qualities, have loved ones who want their release, people who can't believe they did what they are accused of, have contributed to society in positive ways, etc. and they repeatedly raped people or molested children.

In coming to the conclusion above, I want to emphasize that Mr. Bearman's behavior was not simply the transgression of therapist/patient boundaries. Unfortunately, that happens all too often and when it is uncovered, usually results in a person having their license taken away if they are a member of a licensing board. In recent years, the head of the SF Psychoanalytic Institute has his license taken away from the AMA after it was determined he had sex with a patient. Obviously, manipulation and seduction of a patient is wrong in every instance. However, it is not strictly illegal unless the patient is a minor. Giving a person drugs and then having sex with them against their will is not simply mental manipulation and boundary violation- it is a crime and is behavior that rises to a completely different level. The defense that it happened in drug infested situations that were highly sexualized be design is about as persuasive as the many men who claim that they didn't actually rape a prostitute because there were drugs involved and ultimately their behavior was the result of a disagreement about the financial arrangement.

Ultimately, if we are to believe the victims (which I do and unless there is something very unique about this case, more will come forward in the days to come), Mr. Bearman perpetrated paraphilic acts based upon a sexual arousal to coercive sexual contact. By all accounts, he had access to consenting partners throughout the time that he committed these crimes. There was something compelling about this type of sex for him and it cannot be written off as sexual addiction. The world is replete with sex addicts who satisfy their addiction through pornography, masturbation, prostitutes, multiple consenting partners, etc. When people suffer with underlying paraphilic disorders, their chance of repeating these behaviors and creating more victims goes up significantly. In summary, I am sure Mr. Bearman was a nice man to many, helped many others, and even contributed to the discussion of male sexuality in a meaningful way. None of this negates the fact that he is also a sexual predator and is likely to continue to be one until he receives sex offender treatment which, hopefully, he will get after he serves a lengthy prison sentence.

Posted by Forensic Psychologist on 12/15/2017 at 12:41 PM

Re: “Oakland Counseling Guru Accused of Sexual Assault

"Everybody involved in counseling or psychology knows about the dangers of transference." - Yes, but this guy was not a professional counselor, or psychologist, or MFT. He got a non-clinical degree which did not include training in psychotherapy, and practiced without a license, in defiance of state law. But by labeling himself a "coach," he, like many other shady people (I'm looking at you, "Somatica,") could use the massive loophole that allows people to do unlicensed, unregulated, and unethical "psychotherapy" that both harms their clients and stains the reputation of legitimate mental health practitioners.

Psychotherapy NEVER includes sex. Ethical, professional psychotherapy ALWAYS includes informed consent, respect for boundaries, and the prioritizing of clients' well-being. This was not a "counseling" school and he was not a counselor - Licensed Professional Clinical Counseling is a recognized profession in California and across the US, equivalent to being an LMFT or licensed Psychologist or Clinical Social Worker. The state has got to start enforcing its own laws, and close the "coach" loophole that creeps like this use to exploit people who credulously thing that "non-traditional" or "outside the establishment" equals "better," when what it really means is "watch your wallet and your back because no one else will."

Posted by Cygna on 12/15/2017 at 12:34 PM

Re: “Pending Eviction of Former Black Panther Aunti Frances Highlights Just-Cause 'Loophole'

Why would protesting in front of a bakeshop who employs a landlord make sense? Jennifer the owner of sweet Adelines is a pillar of the south Berkeley community

Posted by Jeff Diamond on 12/15/2017 at 12:19 PM

Re: “Oakland Counseling Guru Accused of Sexual Assault

There should never be sex between therapist and client, and not between supervisor and intern/student. Period. Very clear line. Because there is an inherent power differential in those relationships.

Both student/intern and client depend and rely on the therapist/supervisor to know better, as the professional and teacher. If the person who is supposed to know better doesn't know to respect the boundaries, how can you expect those asking assistance for it will know where those boundaries may be?

I am a therapist. I will never ever, ever have sex or even friendships with my clients. I may hang out with my interns but will never ever cross the line to intimacy.

It's not because I'm not open or liberal minded or sex positive. I've worked with many who live alternative lifestyles with their sexuality and understand everyone has a right to prescribe their own comfort level and how they relate to their bodies. But I will never ever cross that line because then it's not about them anymore once I've become involved. And as clients or interns/students, it should be about them when the therapist is working with them.

What this guy did is absolutely wrong, especially because he did this with a vulnerable group of people. People trusted him. He should never take that lightly and abuse it. There is no "I didn't know". As an ethical professional, it is his duty to check and consult before ever proceeding with any interventions to make sure it not only helps but also does not harm to the other parties. I'm appalled by what he did and saddened for those who had to experience it all.

Posted by Su Su Maung, LMFT on 12/15/2017 at 10:18 AM

Re: “Oakland Counseling Guru Accused of Sexual Assault

Grace,
You say "false rape claims are not uncommon." No, they ARE uncommon. Acc to Stanford University and the FBI:
"Only about 2% of all rape and related sex charges are determined to be false, the same percentage as for other felonies (FBI). So while they do happen, and they are very problematic when they do, people dismiss rape allegations as false far more frequently than they are and far more frequently than for other crimes. Put another way, we are much more likely to disbelieve a woman if she says she was raped than if she says she was robbed, but for no good reason."
No good reason - what are your bad reasons here?

Posted by Chris Perrius on 12/15/2017 at 6:45 AM

Re: “Dan Savage: Sexuality and the Neurodiverse

What led you to conclude that the couple is not worried about new boyfriend ruining their wedding?

Ruin is in the eyes of the beholder. BRIDE and her fianc may know the limit of bad behavior that would be non-ruining, but do they really know the new, immature boyfriend well enough that they aren't worried that he will exceed that limit?

Au contraire, if just the thought of Best Man having to endure new boyfriend's drama causes the couple enough discomfort that they are seeking avoidance, wouldn't witnessing it first-hand be likely to cause much more discomfortenough to ruin the wedding?

Seeking avoidance on Best Man's behalf may just be a way to avoid telling Best Man that they think his new boyfriend will ruin the wedding. Also, Best Man becomes the scapegoat when things go awry.

Posted by Pete Pereira on 12/15/2017 at 4:20 AM

Re: “Oakland Counseling Guru Accused of Sexual Assault

Grace, I had a similar thought to be honest. I'm guessing one or two of the accusers in the lawsuit jumped on the bandwagon for the reasons you mentioned. The fact they all started finding out that they were just another notch on the belt might add to their desire to take Steve Bearman down. None went to the police immediately afterward. Most never even complained to anyone Interchange it seems and only told their story when asked. But one or two of the cases sounded like the victim was totally incapacitated by the drugs, and that's rape pure and simple. In the end, as a therapist, you have to be on the look out for something called Erotic Transference. This is when a patient/client starts being attracted to you. Part of your job is to not be swayed by this, and stay focussed on the healing of the client. Steve may not have been a licensed therapist, but he was basically acting as one, and not only did he not follow the rules of avoiding Erotic Transference, he encouraged it. Using hallucinogens no less. Not cool.

Posted by Truth seeker on 12/15/2017 at 2:17 AM

Re: “Plan to Ship Coal Through Oakland Was Years in the Making

A wealthy businessman wants to ship COAL?! to Oakland? WTF. Seriously, this is one of the most progressive areas in the U.S., has he no shame? Is the almighty dollar worth more to him than the health of our city, our kids, HIS kids? wow. What is wrong with the wealthy elite these days? oh right.

Posted by Yaelisa Caminos Flamencos on 12/15/2017 at 1:20 AM

Re: “Oakland Counseling Guru Accused of Sexual Assault

No, Grace, actually we don't. Because we all have instincts, and we know Steve is not healthy. Steve might not have intended to hurt people when he got off sexually, but that's what happened, with 6 women who are suing him... He made money, close to $1M / year, off of his behavior. My best friend repeatedly tried to get me to have scheduled hang outs with Steve, and because I was raised by mostly good parents and mostly good family, I knew something was wrong, and I chose not to engage with him. If you so dare use this comment thread as a way to gain more sympathy for Steve, you too will be found out.

Posted by Margaret1738 on 12/15/2017 at 1:04 AM

Re: “Oakland Counseling Guru Accused of Sexual Assault

I speak up now on behalf of Steve Bearman. This story does not reflect his side of things and paints him out to be an evildoer wanting to hurt innocent people. I am skeptical that is how it actually is. The Steve Bearman I know is a loving and caring human being and would have no need or desire to hurt anyone just to get off sexually. He has many people willing to have sex with him and it makes absolutely no sense that he would need to drug anybody. Also, he is a conscious person and he would not want someone to do anything against their will.

Since this is so contradicting to his nature that most of us know as gentle and kind, maybe it would be helpful to ask ourselves what other motives would these women have? Money and jealousy and rejection are often reasons why someone might make false claims or only remember something the way they want to in order to feel better.

False rape claims are not uncommon. Given the amount of money these women may have believed they could get by suing Bearman, we cannot ignore the possibility of Steve even being set up. It happens to the best people. Steve is clever about some things and naive about some others. He wants to see the best in people and has given his life to serving others and creating intentionally loving community.

He may be gulty of trusting too easily and taking drugs and throwing sex parties. But he is not the sinister narcissist and rapist this article paints him to be and it falls on these women to prove their allegations. And I question that they are allowed to remain anonymous while Steve must bear the weight of all this hatred and all we have are the words of these people. We need to hear the whole story and refrain from lynching this man and making him a scapegoat for all the pain and suffering in the world. He is a human being not a monster.

Posted by Grace Love on 12/15/2017 at 12:23 AM

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