53-Year-Old Virgin 

Is a sex worker the solution?

I am a 53-year-old guy. Since I've been struggling with depression and anxiety all my life, I've never been in a situation where sex was a possibility. I'm really dying to know what it's like. I've gotten much better over the years and the women who know me think the world of me. But they aren't in a position to help me out. Other women seem to want someone much more outgoing and confident than I am or ever will be. Confidence comes from experience and I don't have any. My one girlfriend could not hide the fact that my inexperience offended her. Other people on blogs and such have recommended a prostitute. But that's not really what I'm looking for. It's about more than sex. I want someone to care for me as I am. Is there hope for me? Or has the world just left me behind?

— Very Inexperienced Relationship Guy In Need

I know it's not what you want to hear, VIRGIN, but I agree with other blogs and such: I think you should find a sex worker. Find a nice, patient woman who does sex work and be completely upfront about why you're seeing her: you're so painfully self-conscious about your sexual inexperience that you find it hard to date. It may take some searching, VIRGIN, but there are sex workers who want to help their clients grow and heal. "Many people have the stereotypical misconception that all sex workers are disconnected, uncaring and only there for the money," said Ruby Ryder, a sex worker and sex educator. "While money is indeed a part of it, many of us understand that human beings need touch, connection and acceptance. We provide an opportunity for clients to be vulnerable, whether it's fulfilling their kinky fantasies or simply having sex." And while the relationship you have with a sex worker you might see regularly for a year or two is certainly transactional, VIRGIN, it's still a relationship and about more than sex.

I'm not suggesting you see sex workers exclusively for the rest of your life (even if I'm not not suggesting that either), VIRGIN, I'm only suggesting you see a sex worker to find out what sex is like, gain a little self-confidence, and maybe feel a little more hopeful for your future.

Ruby Ryder is on Twitter @Ruby_Ryder and online at www.peggingparadise.com. Listen to Dan and comedian Jay Jurden on the Lovecast! www.savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net. Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.

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