3:25 p.m. Weekdays: Best Semi-Porn Sculpture 

"The Last Dryad"

Then there's local art of a slightly less wholesome nature. Ferret breeders claim a female ferret in heat will die if she doesn't get laid. To see what this might look like in a woman you'll want to check out "The Last Dryad," by A. Stirling Calder, Alexander Calder's father. It's the artist's heroically scaled sculpture of the last horny female on the planet. Tucked discreetly into the bushes in the Cal Faculty Glade, this oversized, overheated young woman with nipples the size of cherries leans despondently against a ruined tree branch glumly considering the possibility of a life without nookie. Her far knee bends nearly as high as her eyebrow while her front leg extends seductively toward Mother Earth, putting what would be her neglected womanly parts right about eye-level. Nearly a century of affectionate, possibly inappropriate, caressing by hot and bothered art connoisseurs have given this lovely lady's cleavages a shiny patina. Likea rabbit's foot, locals stroke this good-time totem when they're looking to get lucky.

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