Thursday, January 26, 2012

Etiquette Lessons from Ron Kristophone

by Ryan Christopher Parks
Thu, Jan 26, 2012 at 9:35 AM

Editor's Note: We’re so fascinated by the cult of fandom surrounding Ryan Christopher Parks, lead singer of the indie band B. Hamilton, that we’ve invited his alter-ego to start an advice column for the clueless and the culturally ostracized. For this edition, he’s focused on etiquette.

Dear Ron Kristophone,

Like many of your readers, I am an unemployed twentysomething Berkeley graduate who is trying everything to get a job. Luck struck last Friday when I finally got a call back from a kind of “Groupon meets Arab Arms Dealer” start up in the city for an administrative assistant position! The only problem is, all my pants have giant holes in the crotch. I'm too broke to buy new ones and too unskilled to sew them. I'm afraid my balls might pop out mid interview, despite crossing my legs or diverting their attention with magic tricks. What should I do!?

Sam Fistorino

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

State of the Nation Address: Raiders Hire Dennis Allen as New Head Coach

by Sean Keane
Wed, Jan 25, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Denver Broncos defensive coordinator Dennis Allen is now Oakland Raiders head coach Dennis Allen. He's only 39 and was a popular head coach candidate this year after one successful year in Denver. The Bronco defense was good, but I think we have to wonder if it was Allen's coaching, or the supernatural assistance of Jesus Christ and Tim Tebow. He's gone from Jesus' favorite football team to Satan's favorite. Welcome aboard, buddy!

After an egregious vetting process, the Raiders hired Dennis Allen as their new head coach.
  • After an egregious vetting process, the Raiders hired Dennis Allen as their new head coach.

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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

New Comedy Sketch from Two Trick Pony: Games People Play

by Rachel Swan
Tue, Jan 24, 2012 at 2:05 PM

Two of our favorite local sketch artists, Scott McCabe and Tory Stanton of Two Trick Pony Productions, just released a new video skit to follow up on their Odd Couple-style web series, Copy and Pastry. This one, called "Games People Play," includes a cameo from Impact Theatre actress Maria Giere, plus a few sprinkled-in references to the board game mystery movie Clue. We're impressed:

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Oscar Nominees Are In, and... Ayiyi

by Rachel Swan
Tue, Jan 24, 2012 at 11:28 AM

We've learned not to expect too much at the Academy Awards, but this year's nominees for Best Picture take the cake. The list includes Moneyball, a surprisingly riveting movie about looking at spreadsheets, held together by Brad Pitt's stunning depiction of former Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane (who has garnered a certain pop culture cachet and a massive cult of adoration, especially over the past year). Also: Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, which was saved only by Corey Stoll's portrayal of Ernest Hemingway. And: The Help. I mean, do we even have to say what's problematic about that movie? Oh, and finally: War Horse, Spielberg's new World War I movie, beloved by horse fetishists everywhere.

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Sadly, the 49ers Are Not Going to the Super Bowl

by Sean Keane
Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 12:25 PM

We were so riveted by Sean Keane's tweetage of yesterday's game that we decided to compile all the play-by-plays.

Note: We've heard that the Storify widget is difficult to load in Internet Explorer. If you're having trouble, try Firefox.

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Saturday, January 21, 2012

New Emeryville Guitar Center Opening Feb. 2

by Kathleen Richards
Sat, Jan 21, 2012 at 9:31 AM

Guitar Center will be opening its new location in Emeryville on Thursday, Feb. 2, which means it's your last chance to visit the old location in El Cerrito (which closes January 28). The new GC will be located in the space formerly occupied by Borders Books in the Emeryville Public Market (5925 Shellmound St.).

According to the Contra Costa Times, the retail chain is moving in order to have a more central location, as well as a bigger space in a less-decrepit building. The new store will not only have a larger retail space, but it'll also feature Guitar Center Studios, a "state-of-the-art destination that offers music education, professional rehearsal studios and certified Pro Tools and Logic training." (Apparently trying to compete with nearby Ex'pression College.) The new E-ville GC will also feature "GC Garage," an on-site guitar-repair service.

To celebrate the new store's opening, GC will be having special sales, promotions, and performances, including free GC Garage services and setup (with guitar purchase). Here's the lineup:

Thursday, Feb. 2: Guitar Center’s Your Next Record winners, State Line Empire,
live performance (7:00 p.m.)

Friday, Feb. 3: Music Production 101 Workshop hosted by Avid using Pro Tools
(7:00 p.m.)

Saturday, Feb. 4: Drum and Bass Rhythm Section Workshop with Jeff Friedl and Matt McJunkins (A Perfect Circle/30 Seconds to Mars/Pucifer)

(1:00 p.m.)
Sunday, Feb. 5: Jeff Friedl (Perfect Circle/Devo/Puscifer), live performance
(3:00 p.m.)


Friday, January 20, 2012

Datsik Brings SF Some DeadMeat

by ElectroShiz
Fri, Jan 20, 2012 at 11:18 AM

If you listen to dubstep, you've undoubtedly heard the bass infected sounds of Datsik. Yesterday, he hit the road with Steve Aoki on Dim Mak's DEADMEAT North American tour, powered by SOL Republic headphones. They'll be making nearly fifty stops across the U.S., as well as Datsik's home country of Canada, in less than two months (I guess catching up on his sleep wasn't part of his New Year's resolutions).

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Weekender: Five Things to Do Over the Next Three Days in the East Bay

Fri, Jan 20, 2012 at 10:25 AM

Hello! Here are five whole things for you to do this weekend that don't involve being outside!

David Berkeley
Despite his seemingly obvious namesake, David Berkeley has only lived in Bay Area for a couple years. Before settling into a picturesque neighborhood off of San Pablo Avenue in 2009, the songwriter lived all over the US But now with a young child, he's confident that his family's move to the East Bay was the best possible decision. Berkeley's soft, guitar-tethered tunes have garnered attention from national news outlets and film directors alike, catching comparisons to other folk crooners such as Damien Rice and Ryan Adams. His most recent album, Some Kind of Cure, is easy on the ears but still full of mournful and heart-heaving sentiment. Berkeley's vocals are strewn with sugary hiccups; his acoustic guitar work plucked out with in a style that sounds both traditionally American and international. This low-key evening would make a good quiet date or friendly family affair: At Subterranean Arthouse (2179 Bancroft Way) on Saturday, Jan. 21 at 8 p.m. $10 — Will Butler

Chop Bar nomnomnom
Oakland Restaurant Week
Eat local. Oakland’s second annual Restaurant Week lasts from Friday, Jan. 20, through Sunday, Jan. 29. During this nine-day span, more than two dozen Oakland restaurants will offer special prix-fixe lunches and dinners priced at $20, $30, and $40. Participating restaurants include Lake Chalet, Chop Bar, Bay Wolf, Plum, Picán, Marzano, Encuentro, Disco Volante, Faz, Spice Monkey, and Yoshi’s, among others. Rufus

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Rest in Peace, Etta James

by Rachel Swan
Fri, Jan 20, 2012 at 10:18 AM

Famed balladeer and 2001 Blues Hall of Fame inductee Etta James passed away this morning, just five days shy of her seventy-fourth birthday. The singer, who is revered for her husky timbre and ample tastes, mixed gospel, jazz, and R&B styles, and had a vocal range of several octaves and change. James cut her first commercially successful singles — including "The Wallflower (Dance with Me Henry)" — in 1955. Her copious discography includes 28 studio albums and 58 singles. James, who suffered from drug addiction through part of her career, died of complications associated with leukemia. She is survived by her two sons, Donto and Sametto, and will be mourned by music lovers throughout the world.

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