You'll See My Teeth in the Stars Above 

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

Holy Shit

Holy Shit.

Holy shit.

Cultural Phenomenon

Optimistically predicting that the next several months will comprise Bay Area rap's "Summer of Love."

E-40's "Gimme Head" is perhaps a shade less poignant than "San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Some Flowers in Your Hair)."

Technological Grievance

AOL Instant Messenger's piss-poor emoticon selection.

The giant-eyelashed, red-lipped, totally bald female one is particularly terrifying.

TV Party

Former Cars frontman Ric Ocasek putting "New Cars" frontman Todd Rundgren on the On-Notice board during the mighty Colbert Report.

Just what I needed.

This Song Will Change Your Life

Grandaddy's "Where I'm Anymore."

A poignant, lovely ode to uncertainty and future shock, perfect for soundtracking the long, lonely trudge to Emeryville's Burger King.

Internet Distraction

The (probably doctored) photo of Xiu Xiu frontman Jaime Stewart fellating a horse.

The absolute nadir of irony and/or Photoshop.

Aloha

Ending this enterprise with the horse-fellating thing.

Probably not a great idea.

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