I hate hypocritical hippies who want to save the world but only talk about themselves, I hate all the drama queens who said theyd move to Canada if Bush got reelected and never did, I hate hybrid SUVs, I hate people who talk about their passion, and I hate phonies who say Lets do something soon and then never call you.
I hate that little piece of salad stuck between your teeth, I hate going to the dentist, I hate listening to your bullshit, I hate dumbasses who suck out on the river with 8-5 off-suit, I hate beggars who complain when you only give them a quarter, I hate it when my girlfriend makes me watch Greys Anatomy, and I hate it when Greys Anatomy gets pre-empted by What About Brian even more.
I hate music snobs, I hate hip-hop with a message, I hate Leslie Griffiths new orange eyeshadow, I hate it when the neighbors cat beats up my cat, I hate dog owners who lock up their pets all day in an apartment, I hate people who order a Whopper with Diet Coke, I hate Monterey Markets prices, but I hate Andronicos even more.
I hate trying to find parking in San Francisco, I hate the five-foot parking mirages between curb cuts, I hate $75 parking tickets, I hate not being able to turn left for twenty blocks, I hate the smell of urine in the Tenderloin, I hate Gavin Newsoms new girlfriend, I hate the wannabe artists living in the Mission and their ironic trucker hats, and I hate San Franciscans who think the city -- oh, excuse me, The City -- is the center of the universe (thats lowercase).
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I. Hate. You. I HATE YOU.
But thats just me. So please dont hate this paper. Please dont hate our advertisers. And please dont hate me. -- Will Harper