The Cred Sheet 

Stuff you need to know to avoid cultural ostracism.

Album

"This sounds like the Rainbow level from Mario Kart 64 in the best way possible"

Kanye West's Late Registration (Roc-a-Fella) inspiring the most evocative Internet hyperbole ever.

TV Moment

"George Bush doesn't care about black people."

Kanye West himself inspiring the most hilarious telethon banter ever.

Abstract Concept

50 Cent's unbelievably surreal Vitamin Water ad campaign

Featuring everyone's favorite thug reading the Wall Street Journal (with spurned hos in the background) in BART poster ads proclaiming: "No groupies. No posse. Just 50." Most disorienting ad campaign in history not featuring "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Bygone Concert Experience

Experimental guitarist Fred Frith with Scott Amendola and Larry Ochs at 21 Grand Thursday, September 8.

Wherein Fred unleashed a gorgeous slide-guitar solo, violently twisted his tuning pegs to jarring effect, and gleefully pounded on the strings with drumsticks, all in the space of three minutes, all while dressed like a Jimmy Buffett impersonator. For beautiful, transcendent disarray, it beats the hell out of the Raiders pass rush.

Amusing Rap Lyrics

Even when I'm constipated/ Still shit on niggas
(Young Jeezy, "Trap or Die")

Perhaps some Ex-Lax would better enable you to shit on niggas.

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