Silicone Parts Are Made for Toys 

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

Technological Marvel

The dubiously alleged excellence of the iPod Video

Have fun watching Desperate Housewives reruns on a two-inch screen, you Apple-humping knuckleheads.

Bygone Concert Experience

Pelican at an SF warehouse show, October 11

Bad-ass, instrumental, face-melting "intellectual" metal unleashed by four diminutive, mild-mannered Chicago dudes who collectively look like a high school JV tennis team.

This Song Will Change Your Life

That R&B cover of Extreme's "More Than Words"

Get the fuck out of here.

Abstract Cultural Phenomenon

Madonna pretty much inviting people to prank-call her.

Call 1-888-2-CONFESS, pour your heart out, and perhaps you will hear yourself sampled in an upcoming Madonna tune. The mind reels. "Dude, I totally lost my virginity to 'True Blue.'"

Bygone Abstract Cultural Phenomenon

A certain rapper we could mention beat Madonna to the punch years ago.

Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot and kick them nasty thoughts.

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