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Readers Say the Darnedest Things 

Outtakes from Best of the East Bay ballots, with some editorial asides.

Most Welcome Home-Delivered Meals

"Bacon Whores"
C'mon, everybody knows that's a hoax.

Vastest Video Selection

"Netflix, sorry"
You must have a Jewish mother.

Skimpiest Lingerie

"in my bedroom"
So where, exactly, do you live?

Boldest Coaching or Management Decision

"MLB's limp stance on steroids is pretty bold."
Good point.

Unfailingest CellPhone Coverage

"You Tell Me!!"
We did.

"Nobody. They all lick elephant ass."
Nice metaphor.

"Is there such a thing?"
Sort of.

"ha ha"
Wow, this category really got to you people.

Sunniest Tanning Salon

"Got Cancer?"

Most Generous CD Buyers

"ha!"
Hey, a buck for all your Depeche Mode CDs was a good deal!

Blingest Jewelry

"Gumball machine every time."
Is that your bucket parked out front?

Nicest Grocery Experience

"Hole Food"
We prefer "Whole Paycheck."

Most Competent Mechanic

"Vinny!"
Your cousin?

"They're a myth."
Mostly, yes.

"my brother in Antioch"
Where art thou?

Fido-Friendliest Pet Store

"what about parrots?
geez! Feathered Follies!"

What about parrots? Geez! Baaaawk.

Nativist Plants

"hemp"
Yep, that stuff grows like a weed.

Straightest Chiropractor

"anti gay! anti gay! shame! shame!"
Sorry, we meant "Queerest Chiropractor."

Most Artistic Tattoo Artist

"ow"
No pain, no star-spangled crucifix on your forearm.

Previous Winners

(Sorry, no information is currently available for other years in this same award category.)

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