Most Welcome Home-Delivered Meals
C'mon, everybody knows that's a hoax.
Vastest Video Selection
You must have a Jewish mother.
"in my bedroom"
So where, exactly, do you live?
Boldest Coaching or Management Decision
"MLB's limp stance on steroids is pretty bold."
Unfailingest CellPhone Coverage
"You Tell Me!!"
"Nobody. They all lick elephant ass."
"Is there such a thing?"
Wow, this category really got to you people.
Sunniest Tanning Salon
Most Generous CD Buyers
Hey, a buck for all your Depeche Mode CDs was a good deal!
"Gumball machine every time."
Is that your bucket parked out front?
Nicest Grocery Experience
We prefer "Whole Paycheck."
Most Competent Mechanic
"They're a myth."
"my brother in Antioch"
Where art thou?
Fido-Friendliest Pet Store
"what about parrots?
geez! Feathered Follies!"
What about parrots? Geez! Baaaawk.
Yep, that stuff grows like a weed.
"anti gay! anti gay! shame! shame!"
Sorry, we meant "Queerest Chiropractor."
Most Artistic Tattoo Artist
No pain, no star-spangled crucifix on your forearm.