Our Favorite Letters of 2009 

Readers comment on Uncle Sam, boobs, Big Foot, and blankets with sleeves.

Page 5 of 7

Venitis Law of Environment: The best way to save the environment is vasectomy. Deadly viruses are Gaia's antibiotics against the cancer of overpopulation.

Venitis Law of Equality: Death is the only equalizer. Egalitarianism brings death to society, tansforming citizens to zombies.

Venitis Law of Evolution: The ultimate phase of human evolution is the complete domination of soul.

Venitis Law of Faith: Faith is retarded thinking that keeps you away from God. You have to become faithless, in order to start your journey to God! You have to discover God your own way without intermediaries. God's truth should replace faith.

Venitis Law of Government: The only purpose of government is to protect citizens from criminals. Public services, central banks, and fiat money should be abolished.

Venitis Law of Heroism: Entrepreneurs, innovators, and heretics are the real heroes.

Venitis Law of Insurance: Citizens with proper individual retirement accounts and health savings accounts should be allowed to opt out of State Insurance.

Venitis Law of Intervention: Any government intervention deteriorates an existing trend. Laissez-faire is the only progressive policy.

Venitis Law of Legislature: Parliaments should be abolished, because they continuously create laws that enslave citizens, constraint economic activity, loot producers, reward drones, and encourage political corruption.

Venitis Law of Misery: Throwing money to misery brings more misery. Fighting wild leverage with more leverage is homeopathic repression of reality. A deluge of fiat money brings financial plague and haemorrhage of economy. Real money is tied up to precious metals and strategic metals.

Venitis Law of Patriotism: Patriotism is addiction to local hysteria.

Venitis Law of Property: Governments should not own or regulate any property, including waves. The first individual who improves or cultivates any unclaimed property is entitled to that property. Governments cannot own, allocate, regulate, or manipulate frequency fields and media. Eminent domain is null and void.

Venitis Law of Religion: Religion is spiritual slavery. Church is the business of religion. Religious monopoly turns bishops to ayatollahs, and churches to Sodom and Gomor. Spirituality and metaphysics should replace religion.

Venitis Law of Rule: Anarchy is the rule of gangs, infinitesimal government is the rule of law, and big government is the rule of the cancer of socialism.

Venitis Law of Selfownership: You own your body and your soul, and nobody should dictate what you take in and what you take out. Heresy, habeas corpus, military service, mating, abortion, drugs, and euthanasia should be personal choices.

Venitis Law of Style: Your soul needs to resonate with mighty words and unique acts that express your style and destiny. Your government cannot dictate your language, your words, and your culture. Resonate now and sing your song!

Venitis Law of System: The most efficient political system is venitism, where everything is private, there are no taxes at all, there is no parliament, and a powerless infinitesimal government is chosen and supported not by hoi polloi, but by the most generous benefactors.

Venitis Square Law: Political corruption is proportional to the square of the size of the government.

Venitis Tax Law: For each percent of lower taxes, the economy grows by at least four percent more. Smart stimulus is to cut taxes. Stupidus stimulus is to increase spending, which stimulates the cancer of socialism!

P.S. If you published the Venitis Laws, your world could have been a much better place! What are you waiting for? The bird is in your hands! We need a critical mass of venitist fireflies to spread venitism all over the world.

Anonymous

Monster Jam

Dear Monster made sponse,call my number and say;moster made sponser for aaron fisch  please. I'am 9years old.

Aaron Fisch, Lakewood

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Sorry if I bothered you, but how else would you find this great game? Do not be upset and let's draw a game! :)

William Brent Fighter

Man Made Evolution

Hi Kathleen, I have a red hot news tip for you. This is so hot it just might melt the glass on your computer. So be extra careful. The film that Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin made in 1967 in Northern California at Bluff Creek of Bigfoot was real. No matter what anyone tells you, it was real. Here is what they filmed on October/20/1967.

Long before Jesus was born there were thousands of slaves that ran off around the world and started their own countries. When these slaves ran off there was a large group of men and boys of all different ages and sizes that took off and ended up in Africa. Some of them were giants as tall as 9 ft. or even taller. The giant named Goliath that David killedwith his slingshot was 9 ft. tall. So there were giant men that lived back then. Some of these men and boys went exploring to Borneo and caught female Orangutans and took them to South America and had sex with them and created the Indians. The men and boys that stayed in Africa caught female Gorillas and had sex with them and created the Blacks. When scientists found the bones in Africa they thought we evolved from a female Chimpanzee. But it wasn't a natural evolution it was a man made evolution. That's where all the Bigfoot and Orangutan creatures come from. They are half man and half Gorilla and half man and half Oranguta! They use to call the Indians the red man. The Orangutan has reddish hair. When those men bred out the hair the Indian's skin remained red. The Gorilla has black hair and skin. When those men bred out the hair the Black man's skin remained black. Some of the Indians and Blacks are tall. And some of the Bigfoot and Orangutan creatures are tall. They are tall because some of the men that created them were tall. Some scientists believe that we evolved from a female Chimpanzee. Have you ever seen an 8 ft. tall Chimpanzee? I haven't either. Bigfoot migrated up through Africa and came into the United States at the top of Africa when they were connected by land. The Orangutan creatures migrated up through Central America and came into the United States like the Indians did. The creature that Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin filmed in 1967 was half man and half Gorilla. It was a female Bigfoot that they named Patty. Patty was not a man in a costume, she is not our missing link and !she is not a figment of our imagination. Patty was a creature! that was created by men that had sex with female Gorillas and Orangutans a long time ago. Believe it or not, it's the truth.

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