For our Year in Review issue, we've compiled some of the more memorable letters, phone calls, and press releases we received during the past year. In the interest of verisimilitude, all spelling, punctuation, and grammar are the writers' own.
Arnold Schwartzenegger is a mixed-race negro who was born in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania, Africa. His first language was Swahili and his IQ is 67. His wife is a transgender female, who was born a man and has had the sex-change operation. Arnold is a homosexual. Gavin Newsome is a transgender lesbian who is dependent on testorone injections provided to him by Georgia doctors, who are based at Marin General Hospital, a hospital that now kills non-Georgia patients. Gavin takes his testorone each afternoon at 4PM, with his wife in attendance. Kimberly Guilfolye Newsome is a genetic male, who has a large supply of estogen tablets in her car, in her office, in her hall closet, and buried in 3 different locations in Hayward, California.
a citizen, firstname.lastname@example.org
Corrupt politicians 2
The Newsomes, like the Schwartzeneggers, are guilty of heinous crimes, including murders. The Schwartzeneggers have killed in Africa, L.A., and Sacramento, where school children have been lured into Mrs. Schwartzenegger's car and strangled by herself, her husband and Rock Hudson, who is a frequent visitor to the governor's house 3 miles north of Sacramento. (Rock faked his own death in 1985; he is still alive; he is the worst mass murderer in history; he lives in an underground bunker near the National Guard armory in El Centro, California. Mayor Newsome has attempted to butcher the Bay by pouring pollutants into it and has ordered all dairy farms in northern California killed. Georgia-born policemen in Marin County have machine-gunned all the cows at dairy farms in the Lucas Valley and in San Geronimo local politicians told him where they were, despite the fact that they knew he was a Michigan-born freak.
a citizen, any town, email@example.com
Corrupt politicians 3
The U.S. government consists of murderers. Every one of the Senate and almost all of Congress has murdered their wives and children and married transsexual females. A transsexual female is a homosexual male who has had the sex-change operation (castration) and who takes estrogen (female hormones). One of the worst people in Washington is Senator Ted Kennedy. He has murdered his ex-wife Joan and all of his children with a baseball bat in front of other senators and congressmen and then gloated with them that "we are tough and mean." Ted has also married a Navy homosexual who was urged to have the sex-change operation by its parents because, frequently, that operation leads to suicide. ... All of the Bay Area's congresswomen are gay men in women's clothes.
a citizen, Berkeley, firstname.lastname@example.org
A better world for our prechious childrens
I reprisent the Traditional Values Coalition and i am Simply outraged by all this marrying of people to people, to dogs, to trees, and to white women. Where will this messageination stop its creep? We must make this a better world for our prechious childrens and stop them being gays. I myself am not a gay.
PS: i already done typed it up there
Enhance lingual diversity
Surely the day shall come when wordsmiths will have fashioned words for the exclusive use of lesbi-gays. Below you will find the appropriate pronouns that want to take their own places in their lexicon
When Harry and Gary Marry,
When Sandy Weds Candy
As in rhythm and rhyme
Let's accept the gross, the sublime
Pronouns benign or asinine
For each we can design.
With he or she, we dream up xe or xhe
Likewise, with him 'n her, form xim 'n xer.
Along with his and hers, let's read xis and xers
Or xey for they, why not xem for them?
Like notes for a song,
Can't these terms belong?
Let's write ze and zhe fashioned from he and she
Akin to him 'n her, say zim 'n zer.
Let's sing zis or zers with his and hers
Or zey with they, why not zem with them?
Surely, these are lyrics to be sung,
with ballads to be sprung?
Yeah, let zeir blooms shoot out
xeir lexicon to shout
Like prose dancing with poetry
Enhance lingual diversity.
Lionel Tierra, wordsmith
Warning for America
Inserted is from the Holy Bible Jeremiah Chapter 26
1. In the beginning of the reign of Jehoiakim, son of Josiah, king of Judah, this message came from the LORD:
2. Thus says the LORD: Stand in the court of the house of the LORD and speak to the people of all the cities of Judah who come to worship in the house of the LORD; whatever I command you, tell them, and omit nothing.
3. Perhaps they will listen and turn back, each from his evil way; so that I may repent of the evil I have planned to inflict upon them for their evil deeds.
4. Say to them: Thus says the LORD: If you disobey me, not living according to the law I placed before you
5. and not listening to the words of my servants the prophets, whom I send you constantly though you do not obey them,
6. I will treat this house like Shiloh, and make this the city which all the nations of the earth shall refer to when cursing another.
George Washington had a vision. ... He tells us of the Evil that God has planned for The United States of America. We have had the first peril (9-11). The second is soon to happen. The third will be the worst of all. People take heed! God means to punish America if we do not turn back to Him. Look at all the evil in America. Abortion, embryonic stem cell research, Human Cloning, Homosexual activity, now Homosexual Marriage (this event got Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed), Artificial Birth Control (study how this works; If the ripened egg says in the ovary, it continues to rot. Cancer follows and the woman dies. If the egg is released and conception happens, it becomes an abortifacient, and the baby dies.) When a pregnancy is interrupted, Breast cancer could follow, Depression, abuse of women, all of these destroys the family. All of these are a result of Abortion and Artificial Birth Control, which includes sterilization. Study the ramifications of this procedure! People, you can deny God all you want, but He does exist. We need to turn our heart back to God if we want to live.
Ann Marie Jones, Manteca
His Holiness Rael asks San Francisco mayor to create an independent gay state
His Holiness RAEL founder and leader of the Raelian Movement sent a letter of support to Gavin Newsom, mayor of San Francisco where same sex marriages are performed, asking him to create an independent gay state, seceding from the United States, that would welcome persecuted gays and lesbians from all over the world like Israel is doing with world Jews.
He also suggested the idea of creating a Gay and Lesbian University, promoting respect and tolerance for future generations.
His Holiness added: "many gay people are artists, highly educated and wealthy, and an independent gay state will see a huge inflow of capital, geniuses and art, and will thus become a very wealthy state, in addition to providing a safe haven for millions of people fleeing anti-gay persecutions."
For interviews with His Holiness Rael please contact our Public Relations Department.
Linda Ronstadt named "Honorary Priest" for supporting Michael Moore
After her politically incorrect dedication to Michael Moore in her show at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas, His Holiness Rael has named Linda Ronstadt an honorary Priest (also called "Guide") of the Raelian Religion. This title has been bestowed on a select few public figures -- namely Madonna, Sinead O'Connor, George Michael, Michael Moore and Ramsey Clark.
Ricky Lee Roehr, head of the US Raelian Movement comments: "People like these wake up society to the truth. If you notice, only 25 percent of the audience walked out of Ms. Ronstadt`s show. This means 75 percent either agreed with her or sympathizes with her comment! Do we think that the Aladdin hotel would cancel her contract if she would have said "God bless America"?
The public figures given this honorary title are those who point out the lies of those claiming to "protect us", their hypocrisies and insane fascination with violence. Violence is never a solution.
For interview requests, please call our press office.
Seven Days - March 30, 5:22 PM
Seven Days - March 29, 11:57 AM
Seven Days - March 28, 2:21 PM
Seven Days - March 27, 1:16 PM
Seven Days - March 27, 11:33 AM