The holidays are such a circus. Escape the three-ring madness this weekend at Kinetic Arts Center’s (785 7th St., Oakland) I Hate the Holidays Cabaret, its second annual juried festival of circus arts and a send-up of “everything excessive, tacky and overdone” about the season (which, let’s face it, is pretty much everything). A coterie of disgruntled elves will host the high-flying shenanigans, with the Bay Area’s finest aerialists and acrobats mocking holiday tropes and travails while competing for audience votes. This year’s acts include an enslaved elf in a shock collar, and a pole artist under the influence of poisoned sugarplums — we all know the feeling. Friday and Saturday winners will perform in the Sunday-night finals for the ultimate prize of $350 or a year’s worth of fruitcake. The under-21 crowd can watch the show up close from mats on the floor, and there’s plenty of street parking for all the clown cars.