Or, perhaps more to the point: are you a human being? Because if so, you've surely experienced your fair share of horror stories from the wild world of sex and dating— and we want to hear 'em.* Send your tales of woe to Editor at EastBayExpress dot com by next Wednesday and we'll (anonymously) publish our favorites in the upcoming Sex Issue, due out February 8. The worse they are, the better.
*OR, if you really don't have any, you should enter our amateur erotica competition. It's like a Choose Your Own adventure book up in here! Except probably not appropriate for kids!