On Monday, the struggling Dow Chemical announced that it was closing twenty chemical plants and laying off roughly 5,000 employees, grim news for the 500 people who work in the Pittsburg plant. But according to the San Francisco Business Times, the good people of Pittsburg can breathe easy, 'cause their jobs are safe. Dow has no plans to slash its production of agricultural chemicals, which is what the Pittsburg facility specializes in. So go to town, Dow employees, and sign onto an interest-only, adjustable rate mortgage. What could possibly go wrong?