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I found your reply to the idiot husband who declared a sex moratorium because he’d become dissatisfied ingenuous and disturbing. I’ve had a long life as a woman, mother and sometimes wife, but most importantly a long career in communication and advocacy on women’s health. I don’t believe you’re a misogynist, but this time you fell into the facile and common practice of blaming the woman for the evident problems in her relationship with HUH. You suggested that her apparent disinterest in sex could be due to exhaustion from raising three children. Maybe so, but that isn’t her fault. HUH's description of their relationship suggests to me that 1) he blames her for his feeling frustrated and cranky, 2) that he is clueless about the physical toll of multiple pregnancies as well as the physical and emotional changes that mothers experience most strongly when they lack sufficient support from partners, family and community, 3) that he’s to blame for the sexual breakdown with his wife due to his own incapacity for caring intimacy in the relationship, which, in this case, might be far more potent and long-lasting than a dose of Viagra for reviving sex. (What could possibly make her frustrated, I wonder?) I agree that the couple would benefit from the luxury of time alone, but what they really need is a simple prescription of empathy, demonstrative affection, and practical support in their everyday life together. Oh, did I mention love? I know, it’s not an orgasmic requirement, and you either feel it or you don’t, but it can be a turn on when it’s real and uninhibited. One more thing: I feel sorry for their kids, because if things continue as he describes, the kids will absorb the dissatisfaction, the blaming, and the unhappiness associated with sex, and 20 years from now you’ll be getting letters from them.
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New insights and understandings leading to a change of heart: Also known as "the road to Damascus". It has a long and honorable history.
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