Comment Archives: stories: Movies
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Critic Kelly Vance gave Cameron *way* too much credit. The film is laughable all the way through, all the way through. It takes just about every hackneyed Hollywood cliche about the clash of cultures, mixes it up in a medium-tech video game world that is less engaging than the apps on my kids' ipods, and bakes it in a mumbo-jumbo of uninformed political stereotyping. That Cameron would attempt to evince comparisons to Apocolypse Now by having his bulky one-dimensional mercenary Colonel sip coffee standing up in a big attack craft underlined how amateurish the entire effort was from the opening scene. The civilian rep of the mother corporation is about 10 to the fourth less convincing than the least believable Bond villain. If nothing else, Cameron gives us pause to appreciate why intelligent geeks like Star Trek. This movie is a d-o-g dog. The plot line makes Brando mumbling his way through incoherent rants about injustice to America's indigenous peoples seem like the height of informed political discourse with an actual theme. Cameron might win an award for Avatar in a tween People's Choice poll, but besides hat his best chance to be taken seriously will be at the Razzies. There is a reason serious movie-makers adopt books written by real authors or at least collaborate with semi-literate hacks when bringing ego projects to life. If you like the idea of a blue Amazon with a ridiculous body mouthing off ridiculous dialogue in an accent that is far worse than Angie as Alexander's mother in another joke "blockbuster," this flick is for you. Wes Studi should have had more pride: Cameron couldn't have done a better job satirizing every laughable Hollywood stereotype of the Noble Savage if he'd set out to make fun of himself. Real Indians know how the story ends in real life, and I wished I'd seen the field in the Rez or the 'hood where they can see through a phony from a long way off. Eye c u James Cameron.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
I have to agree with Kelly on this one. This movie, while very beautiful and nice to look at, falls flat. The plot was as predictable as can be and seemed to follow the story line of Pocahontas while mocking Native American and African tribal customs. The message this movie was trying to convey was as transparent as window glass and anyone who could not see it needs to work on their analytical skills. As someone who sides more with liberals (although I hate that word) the propaganda this movie contained was a little annoying. If I wanted to see this I would rather watch CNN or the news.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
^^thegecko:
I'm sorry, while this review is a little off, you're a total blithering idiot if you think it isn't at the least VERY CLEARLY implied that the soldiers are, or represented, in the image of "americans"-- type of english accent/slang/military speak and all (have you ever even traveled outside the country to hear non-american english accents?)-- and i have to ask why did you even like the film in the first place other than fanboyism then (is that really your best?) if so many points flew over your head.
Of course in summation its Earth forces (and more a comment on humanity in general), but americans were used to represent "Earth". Or wait.. did you not have enough faith in America to still think that it would still be the most powerful country in the world in 2154, front-running massive, critical missions like the one in Pandora to save Earth? Little inconsistent there, aren't we?
"If you're going to twist around the content of the film, is it really a review, or proganda?"
get real.
"and that has to do with it's affect on the Sci-Fi genre"
The sci-fi genre, at least as far as worthy contributions go, has almost always (90% of the time) been commentary on political, racial, human, and philosophical ideas.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
You're entitled to your opinion, much as I disagree with it. I thought the movie was rich visually and groundbreaking in a number of ways. Yes the story and dialog was simplistic, but I still found the movie very enjoyable.
And just a FYI, the term Unobtanium is often used in the scientific and engineering community to reference poorly understood of secret materials. The inclusion of the term was a nice nod to people who work in those fields. Just thought you should know..
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Well, it's a movie. Only a movie. 83% on Rotten Tomatoes. So there is a 17% probabillity you won't like Avatar. Deal with it, fanboys.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Amazing how can someone dismiss such masterpiece, go back to your armchair please.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Kelly, I would just like to know how you can watch a movie that not only parallels, but points out, some of the biggest problems that humanity faces, and say that it has a weak plot line only sustained by eye catching visual effects. Just because human industrialism is portrayed in a bad light doesn't mean that the plot line is weak, or predictable. Please take your jaded, biased, presumptuous comments with you when you take that vacation.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
@Ballaholic
This movie had horrendous pacing and an ending that you could predict 30 minutes in. This movies problem is it leaves nothing to the imagination. It shoves every unnecessary, unimportant event right through your head. You don't need any creativity to watch this thing. Cameron's done great work before. But this isn't one of them. Its not a bad movie by far. Just has quite a bit of problems with it.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Avatar is a CGI version of Fern Gully enough said. While visually stunning, it is much too formulaic, expected more.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
This review is almost laughable... will not make as much money in tickets sales as Titanic? Well, what film has? Most films would be happy making a minute fraction of Titanic's sakes.
And who ever said the soldiers were Americans? I don't think America was even mentioned... or a princess for that matter. Spiritual leader yes, princess, no.
If you're going to twist around the content of the film, is it really a review, or proganda?
FX and story aside, I think you and many other critics are overlooking one of the key reasons why this film is ground-breaking... and that has to do with it's affect on the Sci-Fi genre http://hubpages.com/hub/Avatar-Review
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Isn't it funny how critics who are payed all this money usually side differently that the people who the movies are actually made for? I don't listen to what the critics have to say because they have an agenda, I just like to see the well written gibberish they spew out.
Personally I thought the visual effects were amazing along with the story line and was in aw of the world they created.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Good heavens! Such nasty comments! I have no intention of seeing the film (I didn't see Titanic either!) because I simply do not care for BIG movies. I like romantic films that are humorous and have something to say about the world we live in and the people we are. My very favorite movies include The Sound of Music, The Philadelphia Story, Room With a View, Pillow Talk, and Gigi. Happy movies with happy stories that make me want to sing and dance and hug someone.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
You say "and then we begin to think about things like plot, pacing, and dialogue...And it's there that Avatar begins to unravel. The unraveling begins slowly, like a hole in your sock on a rainy day, but it grows quickly.'
Really?
I thought the plot was really well done. The pacing was just right for a such a long flick. And the dialog works for a fantasy movie like this. If the characters started speaking like they were in Pulp Fiction or The Departed it would have been harder to hold the suspension of disbelief that we're on an other world 140 years in the future.
As for the plot. It was a little trite but a strong Cambellian vein runs through it and infers a timeless quality to the story. The whole dream world verses reality dialectic was cool too.
So what the hell is your problem Kelly Vance? James Cameron busted his butt making a movie that tries to immerse an audience in another world, mood and time. And he does it. You, on the other hand, don't have the creativity to play anyting other than the cliched role of callused critic. Go back to your bridge troll.
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
This is why critics such as Kelly Vance are a perfect example of an opinionated, self-centered, individual who imprisonment to years writing for a single magazine as clouded their minds with bitterness and resentment that they can't even function without venting their rage to anyone who happens to be in eyesight.
Avatar is a phonemail film of visual beauty and wonder. Four years has been devoted into making it and you can see the work clearly from each and every frame on the screen. No question, this is a grand spectacle and a film with a budget this size, i has to be made for a wide audience in mind. Yet below the surface of some of the most dazzling imagery ever created for the silver screen, there is story of profound meaning and resonance that is very much in tuned to the world we live in today.
Open your eyes and your heart, and you won't be disappointed.
Re: “Shearer Delight”
Well, I know the Simpsons cast are VERY possessive/protective of their respective characters (for example, Shearer made a BIG stink about the episode where Skinner turns out to be a fraud; and I happen to agree).
And the Christopher Guest movies I believe are very improvisational. Plues he's like a standard part of those movies, I'm sure he gets a lot of input from the start.
Re: “Splinters and Skid Marks”
gotta agree with the reviewer. the movie is bad - really bad. I am a big fan of the blog but thought that the movie was derivative, poorly shot, choppy from scene to scene and very self-indulgent. It seemed like Tucker was trying to fight all of his fights (feminist vs. misogynist, resentment toward mom, etc.) without much context or reason for an outsider to really care about his journey. i thought the end was very symbolic, as the story he tells the masses is very different from what actually happened.
Re: “Splinters and Skid Marks”
I think the 1st comment by shaftedofadown is Tucker Max!!! I hope not...
Re: “Splinters and Skid Marks”
i only read this because i've been looking at all the other reviews for this movie, and this one popped up. i want to say this: as someone who enjoys writing and reviewing pieces of art or media, there's more hatred in your part about tucker max than there is actual REVIEWING.
Not once in that review did you give a reason as to why the movie was possibly good; thus, causing your credentials to go down because you didn't necessarily refute the opposition. maybe instead of calling someone out for making such a bad movie, you should actually read one of his blogs to see if your information is factual.
he's mentioned that he's from kentucky, and that his real friends are more important to him than anything else. it's highly suggested that you read his story called "the austin road trip" before you say much more because everything you wrote in this seems uneducated.
i'm going to watch the movie to see what the hype is about, and my opinion might change once i've seen it, but no one ever takes a look at the bigger picture. stop being so critical about his personal life and comparing him to Mick Jagger (really?), and judge the movie for what it is. a comedy. if you can't go into a comedy expecting the worst, then you shouldn't be a critic in the first place.
like you said, "The title should prepare us for the worst."
Re: “Splinters and Skid Marks”
so i guess the whole ending scene was completely lost on you...he was asking for forgiveness and justifying it with a LIE. "what a pussy"? you weren't paying attention. it was just another example of the self-serving behavior that got him into the mess in the first place. i love that there are people like you who hate this movie...i bet the bitchy girl in the bachelorette party would hate this movie too!
Re: “Planet of the Grosses”
Brilliant review, I say. Ham-fisted social messages, lumbering dialogue, and recycled stories aren't enough to carry 3 hours of pretty pictures. The villain has facial scarring. Is that the best the King Of The World could come up with? "We better watch out for this guy. He's disfigured."
And although the CGI is impressive, the mix-and-match alien life is less than imaginative. Hammerhead Shark + Rhino. Jellyfish + Dandelion. Pterodactyl + USB port.