I Hate Weed Love Songs
Hip-Hop commentary for the mildly perturbed and severely profane.
By Sergio Ornelas
- Daniel Kramer
- Slim Thug
I'm sick of rappers busting out with some generic-as-fuck song about getting high. It doesn't matter if you're mainstream or underground: That shit is fucking stupid. You would think rappers would've gotten over this gimmick after Cypress Hill beat that bong to death, but no. People who base their entire image around getting high are doomed to become irrelevant has-beens making shitty-ass rap-metal for clueless fratboys. Fuck, if you don't believe me, just ask yourself: When's the last time you made it out to see Afroman perform? Oh, that's right, you haven't, because not even the fifteen-year-olds who lie about getting high because they're embarrassed about still being virgins give a fuck about that played-out gimmick.
Has this corny shit ever slowed rappers down from bragging about how many blunts they roll? Of course not. You've got a shitload of choices to get high to: Madlib's "America's Most Blunted," Luniz' "I Got Five on It," Likwit Junkie's "The Good Green," MF Doom's "My Favorite Ladies," Ludacris' "Blueberry Yum Yum" ... the list keeps going, but if you don't want to track down individual songs, just throw on a Dr. Dre or Devin the Dude album, and you will almost feel the roach clip though your speakers. Fucking Redman and Method Man even made a goddamn movie off the strength of their weed song, "How High." Anyone who has ever seen How High can testify to the mind-blowing performances from Shaolin and Jersey's finest. I was so glad that someone finally harnessed the incredible talent from those Power Stripe deodorant commercials and cultivated them into this work of cinematic genius. It truly is a film buff's dream come true. (Coming later this year: I Got Five on It, starring Todd Bridges. Seriously.)
I think the dumbest of all marijuana rap songs are the weed rap ballads, where some cutesy rapper flexes his amazing lyrical skills with some goddamn love song, but really it's about weed. Yeah, I was also fucking amazed as shit by this stretch of imagination. I fucking hate hip-hop love songs to begin with, but this shit is annoying as fuck. Now I'm getting the double-header from a bunch of dumb rappers who think they're the first to rap about this stupid-ass girl "Mary Jane." The Alkaholiks did just that -- then there's Qwel's "The Highest Commitment," and hell, D'Angelo's first big single, "Brown Sugar," was a goddamn marijuana rap ballad. The latest to use this brilliant metaphor is Slim Thug with "Miss Mary" -- what Slim needs to do is take back "Still Tippin'" and slap Mike Jones' name on this dumbass song instead, because as we all know, Mike Jones needs more gimmicks.
Here is a tip to any and all rappers out there: Get some better concepts and stop with these predictable-ass marijuana songs. We all know it's just a fucking scheme anyways. Rappers are just too bitchmade to carry their own weed, so they make these stupid-ass weed ballads so that idiots in the front row can get closer to their idols by passing the blunt they've been saving the whole night onstage. Sorry, dumbfucks, but your favorite rapper doesn't give a fuck how long it took you to roll that shit -- he's just too fucking cheap to buy his own bag, so he resorts to bumming dirt weed off idiots who paid too much to get in anyways. You think that grill paid for itself? No, jackass -- he saved the money by not buying his own drugs and bumming your shit instead. What a bunch of cheap assholes.
Comments (8)
Showing 1-8 of 8
With all due respect to everybody.
The dude who write this needs to kick back with a bowl.
To the four who know how to spell, good points, but the whole "nerd" thing, c'mon, are we five?
To the idiot who can't spell, you should probably cut back a little bit.
Back to the the dude who wrote this, yes some of those songs you named are shitty, and the artists deserves to have their tongue cut out, but some of those other songs are incredible. I'd like to see you come up with something half as creative, high or not. As far as this whole "rappers being to cheap to buy their own blah blah blah," you should have left that part out because that makes you look like a bigger idiot then everything else you said. Clearly you have never been to a concert or went to some shitty "underground" wannabe who took your little blunt while poppin' off lyrics from some other rapper, and that hurt your little butt. Stop talking shit and put out your own album, faggot. For the record, I smoke everyday and am not one of those "love every weed song cuz they talk about weed." But you'd have to admit, some of those songs are really good, and the rest don't get played on any radiO. You have the option of listening to something else, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!
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stop complaining about shit you wont ever change, Its a choice to open your mind if you want to, and if you just want to be a close minded little fuck in your room writing dissing articles on weed you should smoke some, go outside, look at the world around you and be happy without insluting a bunch of people who you wouldnt even know if they werent rich off of making music about something they like/believe in.
&& if you cant handle the herb, go home nerd!!!!!
why dont you mind your own business? your opinion isnt going to change anyones elses and it isnt going to stop rappers from making songs about weed and it isnt going to stop people from smoking it. people who like weed and rap listen to the songs, people who dont...dont. its that simple. weed can be a big or a small part of someones life. people write songs about what means something to them. if they are writing songs about weed, then maybe it means something to them? maybe it means more then JUST getting high for the hell of it. no one really cares what you have to say. you are intitled to your own opinion but that doesnt mean you hate to state it, it doesnt make you a better or bigger person. it just makes you seem like a asshole who thinks he MUST be right about everything.
hey wateva dumb fuck wrote this fuck you... i can tell your a fucking nerd cuz the way you wrote that, if you dont like tha rhymes then dont listen to em dumbass you say they bums and losers and shit but your a fucking loser cus instead of gettin sum pussy your insid your moms house probly and looking for som webpage so you can rite your fake ass opinion im only on here cuz im looking for some songs to put on a cd. p.s. and stop dissin tha weed nerd.
You need a hobby man, or a girlfriend or get out more or somethin. Sad Bastard, your a fuckin joke haha
With reference to marijuana as a cash crop, I would refer anybody with questions to Jack Herrer's now famous book "The Emperor Wears no Clothes" which touches on this subject in full detail. With reference to music about cannabis, I would refer you to the great songs on the topic: "Blunt Ashes" Nas "Take Two and Pass" Gangstarr "Nickel Plates Pockets" Aesop Rock "Crumblin' Herb" OutKast as well as the numerous Bone Thugs in Harmony tracks on the subject. I think that this article illustrates a lack of intelligence on your part with respect to hemp and hip hop. You claim to dislike hip hop in general, then create a lengthy post explaining why you hate a particular type of composition in hip hop, which is rather arbitrary. As someone who dislikes an entire genre, I would not consider you an expert on said genre. All genres of music have anjoyable and artistic qualities that should be appreciated. With regards to marijuna in general, the herb is of no harm and has more medicinal qualities than any other "Drug" in America. In addition, it is a far more personal and interpersonal experience than alcohol can every be.
Dude you need to chill the fuck out. You have no idea how much of an inpact marijuana can be on ur life.. And buddy.. Its not in a negative way. Marijuana has been proven good for you. It reduces Stress, and the chances of getting Cancer and/or Depression. So stop ranting the worlds greatest discovery. It has been around for over 5000 years. It has the potential of the largest cash crop in the history of the world if it wasnt illegal. It can be made into Fuel, Paper, Fabric, Steel, etc. Two acres of Hemp has equivelant paper production as 10 acres of Tree. But it doesnt take 30 years to grow.. it takes 6-10 weeks...
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