¡ASK A MEXICAN! 

"What's the reasoning behind the BLARING MARIACHI MUSIC AT 7 A.M. ON A SATURDAY MORNING?"

Dear Mexican: I have no problem with immigrants. My grandparents were Dutch on one side and Irish on the other — but they came here legally, through Ellis Island. What I can't stand are a bunch of fence-hopping, river-wading illegals telling me I owe them a free education, free healthcare, free transportation, and then making me speak Spanish at every restaurant, car wash, and public school in the county. Making these people citizens simply because they're here is like letting someone keep my car just because he already stole it.
Angry Gabacho Goes Really Off

Dear AGGRO: Breathe. Relax. Wake up and smell the tacos. Your letter contains enough inaccuracies, misrepresentations, and logical fallacies to qualify as a quiz for high school rhetoric students. Primeramente, you begin by saying that immigrants don't bother you, then switch courses by bashing illegal immigrants. It's fine to distinguish between the two, but don't offer qualifiers when arguing a point — they weaken your conclusion. Also, illegal immigrants aren't demanding free anything — just amnesty for millions. But even if your assertion were true, you're forgetting the libertarian concept of TINSTAAFL (an acronym for "There is no such thing as a free lunch" popularized by Nobel Prize laureate Milton Friedman). Taxpayers foot the costs of "free" social services, and Mexicans want to join those ranks; hence, it doesn't follow that Mexicans seeking everything for gratis would rally for something that requires paying more for the right to live in this great land.

Also, you didn't specify which county you live in, but no Mexican "makes" anyone speak Spanish. Ever heard of free will? If you're speaking bad español to get by, that's your choice, chulo. Finally, your stolen-car analogy commits an informal fallacy — it doesn't follow that a topic as complex as illegal immigration (driven by numerous economic, social, and governmental factors) is the same as jacking a ranfla, which only involves a nominal knowledge of hot-wiring.

Most importantly, AGGRO: Where's my pinche question? Warning to all future submitters: Ask, don't rant, lest I reward you with the logical smackdown.

Just needed to know the reasoning behind the BLARING MARIACHI MUSIC AT 7 A.M. ON A SATURDAY MORNING. I am of Spanish descent (my father is Puerto Rican), and I wasn't raised around such BLASTING ACCORDION MUSIC when growing up. Just to add to this, my father also was a professional musician and played Latino music. So, what is it with the Mexi-tunes? Are they trying to wake up, or wake others up?
Boricua Baboso

Why are Mexicans so damn rude and inconsiderate when it comes to blasting that horrible, bass-pounding circus music when at home or in their unlicensed, uninsured cars? They pound that crap at all hours, not caring who they disturb.
Can't Hear Myself Think

Dear Boricua and Gabacho: Ustedes answered your questions without even knowing it. Boricua Baboso: The blaring in mariachi comes from trumpets, and have you ever heard one? The noise it makes ain't exactly rustling leaves. Accordions used in conjunto norteño are similarly loud and high-pitched — even at its softest, a squeezebox screams with all the subtlety of a siren (apologies for the alliteration).

Can't Hear Myself Think: Although you didn't specify what kind of Mexican music qualifies as "circus," your reference to a heavy bass probably means you hate banda sinaloense, the brass-band genre native to Sinaloa anchored by eardrum-exploding tubas. You can play these genres at the lowest possible levels, and their natural reverberations would still shudder through walls, cars and steel. Mexicans are used to the loudness, but not gabachos — with that knowledge in mind, every Banda el Recodo or Los Tigres del Norte track cranked up to eleven is payback for your white noise of talk-radio pendejos. And Lou Dobbs — can't forget Lou Dobbs.

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION ALERT: ¡Buy my book!

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Why is there such a strong inverse correlation between the degree of anti-immigrant fervor and the English skills of so-called native English speakers? Learn English yourselves before demanding it of others.

Excess punctuation is not an acceptable substitute for adequate English skills.

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Posted by HZ on 02/03/2008 at 10:38 AM

I was just bike riding the other day, by a local river. The mexicans were lined up with their families (4-5 unsupervised children mind you) catching dirty river fish for dinner I assume. The kids were running everywhere, in the way of the cyclists. The scary part was that when they ran into you, it was as if the "light" wasn't on. I do question the intellengence factor with certain ethnic groups. Common sense just doesn't seem prevalent. This is something that people just catch on to, and if those their candles aren't burning too bright to begin with, no amount of education or information will change these folks anytime soon, very sad.

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Posted by gary.cooperd55e on 06/04/2007 at 12:15 PM

I was just bike riding the other day, by a local river. The mexicans were lined up with their families (4-5 unsupervised children mind you) catching dirty river fish for dinner I assume. The kids were running everywhere, in the way of the cyclists. The scary part was that when they ran into you, it was as if the "light" wasn't on. I do question the intellengence factor with certain ethnic groups. Common sense just doesn't seem prevalent. This is something that people just catch on to, and if those their candles aren't burning too bright to begin with, no amount of education or information will change these folks anytime soon, very sad.

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Posted by gary.cooperd55e on 06/04/2007 at 12:15 PM

Why do Mexican women have so many children when they aren't even in the country legally, speak no English - despite having lived here several years - have no steady income, no education and no skills besides being able to clean a house not-very-well I might add. I volunteer at an LA hospital and was stunned at women who come in and have a baby, then their "partner/husband/whatever" comes to pick them up with 3 of their other children who are usually all under the age of 4. I literally didn't even know this type of breeding was mathematically possible. From a strictly human rights point of view, I consider this child abuse. They live in the worst, most gang-infested parts of town and their children are usually filthy. Say what you want about being poor because their Mexican and we're all just "so damn racist" but what brain-failure told them they'd get richer having more children?????????? And no, I do NOT see this happening with any other ethnic group. We get a fair amount of Chinese, lots of Russians, and I have no idea if they're here legally or not. Our "clientele" also includes a substantial amount of African-Americans. But the pregnant patients are overwhelmingly hispanic, almost none of whom speak a word of English. How do you have a 4 year old American citizen-child and not learn a word of English in the 4 years since you gave birth to him???? None of those American citizen kids speak any English either - there's another billion in bi-lingual services California will spend over the next 10 years. What the hell is it with Mexicans that they do stupid crap like this over and over and over?????

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Posted by notgonna4a9a on 05/20/2007 at 1:53 AM
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