“Man’s Real Best Friend,” Lowering the Bar, 4/1
You Deserve a Pet Rock
Recently, while scanning through your East Bay Express, an
article caught my eye (avid animal lover of all wildlife too!) written
by a Jay Youngdahl.
Mr. Youngdahl, I assume by your column that you are another one of
those ruthless animal abusers … “shame on you!!”
This problem you speak of animals having too much rights!! Mr.
Youngdahl, getting back to your Biblical verses, I definitely disagree
with your theory, the Lord (God) put every living species on this earth
… his creation Jay!! Not yours, or those that choose to travel there
own destinations in life. So the chimp was treated with Xanax, is he
depriving you Jay?
You should be given a Pet Rock on a leash to keep you company.
Sorry for you Jay!!
Alice Noriega, San Pablo
You’re All Speciesists
These are just a bunch of radical speciesists concerned more about
their own profits than the welfare of others. I totally support the
care and welfare of animals. How many more animals will give their life
for these humans to keep denouncing their value and right to exist?
This is one of the prime reasons animals need to have laws that protect
them from radical people like this.
John Lopez, Reno, Nevada
Yanquis Are Animals
A riddle circulated in Latin America in the 1960s and 1970s that
went like this:
Q: The Yankees send armies around the planet to kill people, so how
come they love their pets so much?
A: That’s because they have a lot more in common with animals.
Antonio Trossero, San Leandro
Like the Gulag
This is a false dichotomy. Animal welfare is the issue. Of course
they don’t have the same rights to vote or drive a car or own guns that
we do.
Those rights are irrelevant to their nature. But rabbits should not
be blinded for the cosmetics industry and the recent prop on the
horrendous conditions in which farm animals are raised was long
overdue. And Maoists shouting for humans!!! The man killed a hundred
million Chinese.
Of course, a small-time leftist intellectual crook like Jay
Youngdahl could never figure that out.
Animals are friends to the cosmetics industry in the same way that
slave laborers in the Gulag are friends to Stalin.
I willingly spend money on my cats; I do not prefer to spend money
on street bums.
Al Blue, Richmond
“Inside the Activist Gym,” Culture Vulture, 4/1
A Gym Worth Signing Up For
Your story on underground gym in W. Oakland, interesting — I
got some gym equipment maybe they could use, and also a garden, maybe
they would be interested in home-grown vegetables from the area? Plus,
I’m a “chef-gardener.” Been trying for years to work with new people in
the area.
A.L. Brown, Oakland
“Almost Infamous,” Music, 4/1
Suckers!
So even a credible journalistic endeavor such as the East Bay
Express has now been hoodwinked by the scammers in “The New
When.”
Those jerks are simply running a con game. They owe me money, and
they owe a bunch to others in the local music business community. Their
name-change game is not a means of avoiding unwanted fame and dodging
reviewers pigeonholing them (as they claim); that’s just a ruse!
Instead, that is simply their shrewd device to allow them to skip out
on debts owed.
And debts not just for rehearsal space rental, studio time,
freelance engineers, side men, CD pressings, photographs, bio writing,
web site development, web hosting, truck rentals, and unpaid bar and
restaurant bills all over the East Bay for their infamous
post-performance CD-release parties (of which there have been many)
— no, they also owe money for publishing royalties to their song
co-writers … me, to name one.
And now they’ve managed to get your newsweekly to feature them on
the cover. My god, you’ll run a cover story on just about any
ridiculous figure in the local music scene who can spin a good tale and
convince you they have some new perspective, won’t you?!
Miles Hurwitz, manager, the Matches; vice president of marketing
and artist development, Talking House Records, Oakland
“UC Berkeley Decides Public Education Not Good for Making Money,”
News, 4/1
If It Smells Like the Onion
Throughout my read of this article, I continually checked the
masthead and url to confirm (double-confirm, triple-, etc) that I was
not reading The Onion. Really? All of this is real? Thanks for
the enlightenment about how far greed has progressed in our
country.
[no name given, author couldn’t be reached]
“From the Compost Bin to the Dinner Table,” Food, 4/1
It Tastes Like the Onion, Too
Someone who sends me more than a few links to articles from The
Onion sent me this link and I swear I thought I was reading a bogus
review until I saw the Cafe Gratitude reference.
The thought that there are “perpetual out-the-door lines” is simply
frightening to me. But it continues to underscore the fact that
Berkeley residents are the most bored people on the face of the Earth.
And will stop at nothing in their quest to counter that by being the
weirdest people on the face of the Earth.
I can only thank the author for the honest, and pretty freakin’
funny, review of the tripe (face boogie) aftertaste of the
“burger.”
[no name given, author couldn’t be reached]
Too Expensive for Compost
It was awesome, creative, inventive, and appealing, but there were
loopholes, which gave you away — big-time. The Second Life Cafe’s
address, phone number, lack of health inspectors, business insurance,
lines out-the-door patronage, and the “fermented tomato Hooch” all
ensured a very passable giggle. Your prices were pretty outrageous,
too, for an establishment willing to accept food stamps and barter. But
hey. A joke’s a joke, and we can all smile knowing that we, too, can
create and compost our own, making “getting back to the basics” during
this economic adventure a lesson in true survival skills. So … pass
me a burger with a side-salad.
R. J. Dobrane, Oakland
“New Practices and Revenues for a New Era in Journalism,” Editor’s
Note, 4/1
Wait … What Day Is It?
It is a sad commentary on the state of publishing that for a moment
I forgot it was April Fool’s Day and I actually thought you were
serious. Because, frankly, some of the ideas in this article are no
more ludicrous than some proposals for “saving” newspapers that I’ve
seen in various venues. As a freelance writer, however, I’m pretty sure
however the “publishing crisis” shakes down, writers are gonna get
screwed out of money.
Jane Powell, Oakland
Wait a Minute
I have to admit, I was preparing to write an excoriating letter to
the editor decrying the death of journalistic standards (although, btw,
there is a typo on the first page of the article, or rather a
mis-italicization) … until I realized it was April 1.
And then it was hilarious.
But, as Jane says, frightening that it took me more than half the
article for the suggestions to cross from “reasonable-ish” to “insane”
to “wait a minute…”
Megan Wygant, El Cerrito
April Fool’s Issue, 4/1
Keep Up the Fake Stories
Thank you. This issue was hilarious! I read every article
word-for-word. I couldn’t help myself. And I laughed out loud. The
letters are just as much fun as the articles. (I particularly liked the
thought of my beloved “East Bay Express” getting $57 million in bailout
money. God knows you need some cash.)
Thanks again. And keep up the good work.
Jerry Metzker, Oakland
Not Funny, Sad
It is a sad commentary on today’s society that what was intended as
comedy, in your April 1 edition, turned out to be IRONY.
Robert B. Wister, Hayward
Miscellaneous Letters
An Illusion of Justice
Police in urban communities do little to improve their image. The
Rodney King criminal beating by the LA police and viewed on TV went
without punishment. The Courts granted those police a change in venue.
The trial was moved to Semi Valley, where most of the police live. The
jury in that community found that Rodney King got what he deserved.
That trial was an illusion of justice.
The murder of a young Black man, by a BART policeman has been given
the slow roll. BART is paying a conservative law firm almost one half
million dollars to find mitigating circumstances. There is no way this
law firm will return a finding that does not reflect kindly on the BART
organization. The Board is buying a smoke screen. BART is paying almost
one half million dollars for a $50,000 scope of work. The law firm
knows that it is selling its reputation, not its work.
If the Board had really wanted a transparent investigation they
would have hired a firm that specializes in this kind of investigation.
They hired lawyers because they knew that a law firm would appear fair
an impartial to the lay public. The Board knew that the law firm could
not release anything to the public, to the courts, to the press or to
other lawyers without first getting permission from BART. Client lawyer
privilege applies in this case. The Board can veto any findings that
does not reflect favorable on BART. The public, who is paying for this
charade, has no way of examining the first draft product of the law
firm. The Board wanted to give the community the illusion that it was
concerned. Bart is spending almost one half million dollars for a
guaranteed outcome.
The Oakland police department judged Mixon guilty of murdering four
Oakland police officers and they executed him. The Oakland police were
judge jury and executioner. They did not follow proper procedure.
During the course of the execution they managed to get two more police
killed. If they had acted out of reason rather than out of rage, those
two offices would be alive to day.
The procedure should have been to clear the building of all of its
occupants. Once the building was cleared, Mixon should have been given
a chance to surrender. If he did not surrender, the apartment in which
he was thought to be hiding should have been tear gassed. SWAT rushed
into a situation about which they had little intelligence. They did not
know if Mixon had help. They did not know the number and type of
weapons he had. They did not know if Mixon committed the crime of which
he was suspected. If he committed the crime of which he was suspected,
did he act alone?
While we debate, the issue of disrespect shown the Mayor and other
local elected officials, we ignore the larger issue. The larger issue
is how did one lone gunman murder four well trained Oakland police
officers. I am amazed that an untrained shooter managed to murder two
veteran police officers. This shooter acting alone was able to shoot
and kill two armed veteran police officers with a hand gun. There is
something wrong with this picture.
The white police union defends the disrespect of Oakland’s public
officials. The Afro American police union demanded an apology from the
force. Neither union demanded an investigation into what procedures
were ignored or violated that resulted in the deaths of four
experienced veteran Oakland police officers.
Our dailies are not on their JOB. The BART charade should have been
exposed. The public should have been aroused about the armed JUDGE,
JURY and EXECUTIONER
Joe Debro, Oakland
We Can Make a Difference
What I want to say to women, and girls is that it is not important
how others see us, but it is important how we see ourselves. We are
responsible for our lives and our actions, and we are capable of
changing our experiences. We are the well, and our source is the water
within the well that is always nourishing, healing, soothing,
restoring, rejuvenating, and loving. The source that is within us,
wants us to know that we matter, and that we are always good enough in
whatever we do.
It is important that we learn to love ourselves no matter what
others think or say about us, that we see the truth of who we are, that
we understand how one person can impact another’s life through words,
actions, and experiences. If we remember that we matter, and that what
we feel, and what we think matters we will not become victims or
victimizers.
It is important that women, and girls realize our worth, and value
in changing what is hurting us as a country, and as nation. Through our
experiences, our words, and our actions we can make a difference. A
difference that is built on relationships that are inclusive, healing,
supportive, restorative, encouraging, and inspiring. A difference that
encourages us to tap into the source of love that we all possess, but
sometimes due to various circumstances are unable to express or connect
to. We are the light bearers, we are the leaders, and we are the arms,
and hands that supports the endings, beginnings, and the in between
times of our life experiences.
Lorene Garrett-Browder, director, Women-as-allies.org, Aptos,
CA
Correction
In our 4/29 food review of the Beta Lounge, we misprinted the
restaurant’s phone number. It’s 510-845-3200.
