.¡Ask a Mexican!

Putting a name to a crazy, mixed-up heritage.

Dear Readers: A couple of weeks ago, I asked half-breeds to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in; gracias for the submissions. The following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentary — enjoy!

If you’re half-Mexican and…

Half-African: Afrijoles

Half-black: Black Beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican

Half-Arab: Garbanzo Beaner (America’s worst nightmare)

Half-Canadian: Canexican

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, Rice-n-Beans

Half-Cornish: Cornish Tortilla

Half–Costa Rican: Mextica (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)

Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian

Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino

Half-Flemish: Fletino

Half-French: Frenchican

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, White Bean

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, Wiener Beaner

Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)

Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)

Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple Salsa

Half-Honky: Chichonky

Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry Tamale

Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole

Half-Irish: Leprecano, Green Bean, McBeaner

Half-Italian: Mexican Pizza, Spic-talian

Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño Bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit-nectar drink), Kahlúa-jewa, Kosher Burrito, Mexi-Jew

Half-Korean: Korexican

Half-Pakistani: Mexistani

Half-Panamanian: Panamex

Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)

Half-Portuguese: Pork-n-Beans

Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck

Half-Russian: Brown Russian

Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican

Half-Samoan: Samexican

Half-Scotch: McRiguez

Half-Turk: Turxican

Other Latinos also joined the game: A half-Spanish, half-American called himself “Spam,” a Cuban Jew goes by “Jewban,” while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a “Minneruvian.” Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is “anus” in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with this moniker: Gandhistein.

But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho: How about American, like all of us mutts?

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