Thursday, April 3, 2008

John Yoo Still a Jerk

By Chris Thompson
Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 7:52 AM

We would like to take this moment to officially apologize for not insulting Boalt Law professor John Yoo until this late in the week. Normally, we wake up with the sunrise, linger over a cup of chamomile tea, listen to the robins sing among the pear trees, and think, "Jesus, John Yoo's a schmuck." Honestly, we don't know what came over us.

In any case, we were caught napping while the rest of the country has been horrified by the release of Yoo's latest secret torture memo earlier this week. Between bouts of nurturing respect for the law in the hearts of young Cal students, Yoo served in the Bush administration's Justice Department, where he worked overtime to articulate the legal framework for torturing people the government doesn't like. And the latest memo to come to light has Yoo's charms all over it. Here, according to Talking Points Memo, is one of the document's footnotes:

"Our office recently concluded that the Fourth Amendment had no application to domestic military operations."

Got that? Let's read it again, just in case. When it's soldiers who are tearing through your house, searching your possessions, and violating your most intimate privacy, the Fourth Amendment is just fine with it. Who exactly does the Fourth Amendment keep from breaking into your house? Meter readers? Girl Scouts?

John Yoo: Schmuck. There, we finally said it.

In other John Yoo-related news, read elsewhere in this week's issue about how the Supreme Court recently did Yoo a big favor.

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