Thursday, November 2, 2006
Book by Its Cover: Rachel Ray's Mixtape for Kids
Pics and Video Nate Seltenrich — Thu, Nov 2, 2006 at 4:57 PM
Hey kids, isn't Rachel Ray adorable? You're cute, but she's even cuter! You have no choice but to grin and bear it as her people make you pose for this ridiculous cover shot. Girl in front in the purple sweater: Don't worry, it's almost over. Blonde boy on the left: Get some teeth! Now, everone turn around and take another look at Rachel. Ain't she cute? We'd buy anything with her face on it, even if it were called Too Cool for School: Mixtape for Kids. Thankfully, these are the real versions and not little-people covers. (Kidz Bop, we're looking in your direction.) We dig the inclusion of the Boy Least Likely To's "Be Gentle With Me." And whaddya know? There are three recipes included in the sleeve.
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i'm not going to stand for this. the CD cover you've so limply derided here is actually a family portrait -- my wife rachel ray and all the children we have sired. i picked her up at king dong on shattuck about six years ago... within hours of meeting cute over a plate of general tsos she was in a compromising position on my ping-pong table with the first clouddead record blaring in the background. here's something strange about rachel -- she likes to listen to anticon during coitus. thank god why? has so many side projects! clockwise from the purple cutie in front, that's gabby (conceived to that hymie's basement record), marvin (themselves), bocephus (restiform bodies), chaz (dosh), and margene (donovan -- we were drunk). tonight for dinner rache' made blue-cheese spaghetti. tomorrow night we're shipping all the buggers off to karate practice and cranking up 13 & god. if you know i mean. douche nuts.
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