Or, if you will, the top five things to do this weekend that aren't Outside Lands.
Though the title character of Wuvable Oaf is a big ol' bear of the Castro variety, his pop culture-strewn adventures in search of love in San Francisco (and love for all things sweet and pink) make for a comic series that's gay as all get-out but hardly narrow in its appeal. Creator Ed Luce celebrates the release of WO #3 on Friday, Aug. 12, at Escapist (3090 Claremont Ave., Berkeley), with fellow artists Nicky Nargesian (Misty), Crystal Gonzales (In the Dark), and Justin Hall (Glamazonia, Hard to Swallow). 7 p.m., free. 510-65-COMIC or EscapistComics.com. — Stefanie Kalem
The Golden Bowl
Just in case you needed any more proof that the Bay Area Derby Girls are fucking fierce: Less than three weeks after two of the local roller derby league's players were robbed at gunpoint — losing thousands of dollars of team money, and presumably, a little bit of the fearlessness that makes these athletes so much fun to watch — the Girls will be back on the track and ready to compete this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, Aug. 12-14, at the OaklandConvention Center (500 10th St., Oakland). The Golden Bowl features top-ranked visiting leagues from Austin, Chicago, and Detroit squaring off against the B.A.D. Girls All-Star team, the Golden Girls, in a three-day round-robin; winner takes the eponymous trophy. Currently ranked sixth in the nation, the Girls may not need much luck, but it's always fun cheering them on anyway. Friday at 5 p.m., Saturday at 4 p.m., and Sunday at 9 a.m.; single-day admission $15-$22; three-days passes $35-$56. BayAreaDerbyGirls.com — Ellen Cushing
Jill Scott's Summer Block Party
Right on the heels of releasing her first album in four years, R&B singer Jill Scott is headlining what could be one of the best neo-soul tours of the summer. Scott's latest effort, The Light of the Sun, dropped in June with less fanfare than previous discs. It includes a duet with Anthony Hamilton, beatboxing by Doug E. Fresh, guest rappers, and even some spoken word. It's got the requisite love ballads that Scott is known for, along with one funk tune, but it hasn't produced any megahits. Still, Light proves, once again, Scott's dexterity as both a singer and paradigm-shifter. She's capable of sounding guttural and throaty, or doing a high vibrato trill, or turning a scold into a sultry slow jam (as she did in the song "Gettin' in the Way"). Plus she can collaborate with just about anyone. Her Summer Block Party tour includes Hamilton, new jack swing group Mint Condition, Doug E. Fresh, and DJ Jazzy Jeff. At Sleep Train Pavilion (2000 Kirker Pass Rd., Concord) on Friday, Aug. 12. 7 p.m., $54.75-$114.75. LiveNation.com — Rachel Swan
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
There’s almost no way to distinguish a production of what’s probably Shakespeare’s most oft-performed comedy, unless you amend the script or give it a special theme and a distinctive look. Thus, local all-female Shakespeare company Woman’s Will decided to spice up its version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream by setting the play in San Francisco, circa 1969. The Summer of Love is in full force: A cute, peppy Hermia (Lexi Hart) is fleeing to Napa Valley with her fiancé Lysander (Amber Sommerfeld), while scorned Helena (Katie Krueger) is chasing after Demetrius (Anne Kobori). Fairies have spats in the background, Puck alternately matches and breaks people up, and amid all the confusion, characters constantly break into song. The soundtrack features all recognizable songs from the Sixties and Seventies, and most of the actors are nimble vocalists. Titania (Anna Smith) even hits the high notes on Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart.” Through Aug. 27 at parks throughout the Bay Area. Free. WomansWill.org — Rachel Swan
A Landscape of Stories: Six Acres of Discovery at Peralta Hacienda
If you want to beef up on your Oakland history, you could always read a book. But why not take one of the Oakland Heritage Alliance's summer walking tours, whereby docents lead the history-hungry though various parts of the city, pointing out landmarks and sharing stories of each area's past? On Saturday, Aug. 13, the OHA debuts a new tour of Fruitvale's six-acre Peralta Hacienda Historical Park (2465 34th Ave., Oakland), led by park steward Ben Glickstein. The kid-friendly event features a walk through the PeraltaHouseMuseum, model cow lassoing, and a chance to touch a replica of famous rancho-owner Luis Peralta's sword. 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m., $5-$15; free for children under ten. 510-763-9218 or OaklandHeritage.org — Cassie Harwood
Eat Up: Chez Panisse turns forty later this month; ponder its legacy along with our food critic.
Get Buzzed: Tequila!
Waste Some Time: Someone made an entire Tumblr dedicated to collecting tweets wherein people beg and plead to get Justin Bieber to follow them. Schadenfreudy fun!
Feed Us: Got any East Bay news, events, video, or miscellany we should know about? Holler at us at Ellen.Cushing@EastBayExpress.com.