10. Use high-sensitivity mic to record distinct sound of rotting garbage. Sample and remix for next single. 9. Milk carton + rubber band = some sort of guitar, I guess. 8. Lock club doors, then assault apathetic audience members with orange peels. That'll get 'em going. 7. Piece together backing band from replacement garbage men. Some may have real talent. 6. Cover "Waiting for the Man" with new lyrics immortalizing your permanent gaze to the curb. 5. Tell your drummer you think you accidentally left a $100 bill at the bottom of the trash bin. 4. Gather used pillows and mattresses for future romantic encounters on the road. 3. Be thankful it's distracting fans from the fact that your last album was a serious letdown. 2. Wear large black trash bags at your next gig. Just do it. 1. Why pay ridiculous prices at Goodwill when you can get perfectly nice used clothes for free?
The Velocet's A Quick and Dirty Guide to War, out 7/10. The Brooklyn-based band's lead vocalist and guitarist, Michael Davison, grew up an Army brat. After high school he completed the obligatory stint in the Marines, finally landing on the streets of New York disillusioned with the military and his childhood. Art by Molly Kromhaut.
Berkeley indie rock band Kaura has advanced to round three of four in the 2007 Lollapalooza Last Band Standing Contest. From the 100 bands that made it to round two, festival founder and Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Ferrell chose twenty to proceed to the next round. Fan voting through July 20 will decide which five bands make it to the next round. Kaura is the only California band still in the running, currently ranked #9 with 1,507 votes. Head here for more info about the contest, and here to see Kaura's band page. Lollapalooza's cultural cache has faded in recent years -- most notably in 2004, when the multiple-city festival was cancelled due to poor ticket sales -- but 2007 sees it revived as a three-day festival in Chicago, with an excellent lineup featuring Muse, Pearl Jam, Interpol, Modest Mouse, Patti Smith, LCD Soundsystem, Spoon, TV on the Radio, the Rapture, Silversun Pickups, and many more.
As if we needed more reasons why the weird beard should be outlawed: Metallica singer James Hetfield was questioned by security officials at London's Luton airport last Thursday apparently because of his "Taliban-like beard," according to British news outlet The Times. Hetfield was let go after he convinced them that he was, in fact, a rock star, and went on to play the Live Earth gig at Wembley Stadium.
Here's a summer camp for those about to rock: the Power Chord Academy, which this year operates three of its twenty sessions (spread out across seven U.S. cities) at UC Berkeley. The first session is running this week; the second goes this Sunday, the 15th, through the 21st; and the third runs July 22 through 28. The Power Chord Academy is open to kids ages 12-18 and costs $1595 per student (yikes! better hope album sales pick up!). If you're interested, sign your kid(s) up now -- PCA says most sessions are "almost full." Of course, this could be music industry speak for "there are plenty more spaces available, but we'd really appreciate your money." Student testimonials attest to the camp kicking a lot of ass, but with such a steep pricetag it's probably not worth it for the merely curious. At the very least, the online application is a lot of fun to fill out. "Other members desired in your band?" (DJ? Woodwinds?) "Favorite bands?" (Whatever you do, don't say Dream Theater.) "Do you want to sing?" (Backing, Lead, or Both?) I can feel my musical abilities improving already.
Oakland's Maxwell's Lounge just posted an ad on SonicBids.com looking for musicians to perform on their Thursday and Friday nights. Genres they accept include R&B, pop, cover bands, reggae, funk, neo-soul, jazz, and world music. According to the ad, performers have to guarantee thirty paid guests and play for about 45 minutes. The guarantee starts at $100.
Did your buddy burn the burgers? Lose your wallet at the parade? Someone puke on the rug? Whatever went wrong at your 4th of July celebration probably doesn't compare to what happened to local teen Roisin Isner, who drums for San Francisco band Tinkture. A fireworks mishap at Dolores Park in San Francisco left her with a mangled right hand, possibly ending her music career -- and it wasn't her fault. Now her father's trying to track down the culprit. Read Chris Isner's message, which first went out early in the morning of Thursday the 5th, after the jump.Hello,
I am Roisin's father. July 4th, Roisin and friends were in Dolores Park watching fireworks. Some stupid piece of shit threw an M60 at them. It landed on Roisin's right hand and blew it apart. She will undego surgery later this morning but it doesn't look good. Most likely she will lose her index finger; second and third fingers will also be permanently impaired and disfigured. Needless to say, her musical career is over.
I want this fucker. Media attention will help flush him out. People know who did it and I'm offering $20,000 for a name. Please do whatever is necessary to get the story out. Do so and I will reward you as well.
Thank you, Chris Isner firstname.lastname@example.org