Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Slap Hitter: Oakland A's Puzzlers (play along)

Wed, May 28, 2008 at 7:56 PM

Before the Athletics leave for Texas, here's a handful of queries to finish off the homestand:

* How is it possible that Rich Harden can be either dominant or disabled? Wouldn't it be more likely that he'd have a state in-between…pitching ineffectively? Going only a few innings? Having less velocity? Instead he's 100% or 0%. Why does no other pitcher in baseball do that?
* Toronto in town this week, and I wonder how they like being the only team in baseball having to endure two national anthems a game.
* Do they still play America the Beautiful or a flaggy song in the 6th inning in ballparks? Really one patriotic tune per game works for me.
* Any better way to get on diamond vision than being a babe? Or a cute kid wearing the team colors? Or a fat guy dancing?
* Really, Greg Smith?
* How great was it to sweep the Red Sox? How much better that it dropped them out of first place? To the Rays?
* It isn't that Devil Rays was such a cool name, but the rhyme scheme seems all off now> Doesn't "Tampa Bay" deserve two syllables in return?
* Black uniform tops with green and yellow helmets? Let's go all the way and wear pinstriped pants.
* Why is use Mychael Urban to cover the A's when he's on KNBR flacking for the Giants? We can't even get our own homer on the A's website. That sucks and blows.
* Um, we got rid of Dan Johnson, but Daric Barton seems a lot like DJ 2.0. Unless you like your first baseman batting eighth?
* Isn't it about time we play the Yankees?
* I guess lead-off guys are overrated. The A's are still winning, though starting every inning down one out.
* Think the Angels ever get annoyed winning four or five games in a row and unable to shake the A's?
* What happened to our funny commercials? Everyone liked them. They made us stand apart from the treacly Giant ads. (Hey Dad, let's go to a game!). Why are our ads so dull now?
* Why do our announcers go to such extremes pronouncing Emil Brown's first name? And why does each pronounce it with such emphasis and then in a completely different way?
* How did Huston Street get better all of a sudden?
* And why did Alan Embree get worse?
* Is it even worth voting for an A for the all-star game, when they have no star power and don't actually deserve any of the starting spots? Maybe it would be better to vote for Angels and tire them out for the second half of the season?
* Anyone else miss the exploding bobble-head promotions on the A's scoreboard?
* Isn't it cool that even though the Giants have the Bay Area media by the short hairs, we're the team that has a two and a half hour pre-game show? Which goes nicely with the two and a half seconds of video we get on Baseball Tonight or the local sports wrap.

I guess that wasn't a question at all.— Kibby Kleiman


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